a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Friday, May 25, 2012

My First Party Experience.

Last night I went to my first high school party, and boy was it a doozy. I'd always heard crazy things about the parties at my school. Drunken tirades, every drug imaginable, and girls and guys groping each other like some unrated movie. I heard these rumors, but always figured I'd give my classmates the benefit of the doubt. I don't know, I just didn't think they'd be capable of such things.

I had been debating back and forth for the last month or so whether I should go or not to the senior party. A huge, huge deal at my school. I really wanted to go since I had never been to a party. I'll admit, I was super curious. I wanted to know what one was like and see if I could really stay true to myself in a situation so fueled by peer pressure because in my past I'd always fallen into it. So at last minute I decided to go. It was an experience I'll never forget.

I went with one of my good friends and she was as clueless as myself about high school parties. The senior party is a super big deal at my school and kept on the down low until the very last minute until they send out a mass text to all of the seniors. We got the text and went to the neighborhood where it was at and were TOTALLY lost. We drove around and around until we saw two girls we knew walking. We stopped and asked if they knew where the party was and I was so awkward...the girl actually laughed at me but agreed to take me to the place. We parked and began our journey to the party. We went back into the woods and started on a trail. It was pitch black out and well into the night and we had to use our phones to see the way.

Since I'd never been to a party before I had no clue what to wear and stupidly enough wore a dress. We trekked into the woods and my legs got scratched by a million thorns and I was sure I was going to get poison ivy. I could hear everyone yelling and screaming, but we got so lost and came to a dead end, constantly having to back track. The party was a half a mile into the woods and took us a good twenty minutes to get to. The kids in charge didn't want it to be busted so they found the perfect, secluded spot.

When I came into the clearing where the party was I had major dejavu. I felt like I had been there before, seen the scene all too many times. The tiki lights gave an eerie and sinister glow to the biggest amount of alcohol I've ever seen in my life. It was everywhere and I mean everywhere. They had tables of beer pong set up, a full on bar with every kind of drink imaginable. Red cups littered the ground even though we were some of the first ones there.

The guys in charge of the party greeted me like we had always been best friends, giving me a high five and acting excited that I had come- me, the 'modest fox.' They offered me congratulatory shots, at least that's what I think they were. I denied vehemently, hardly believing that I was being offered alcohol. Something I never thought would happen. Even when I denied it they offered it to me again and again, but soon they got the hint I wasn't into that sort of stuff. They left me alone.

My friend and I wandered around the space aimlessly, trying to avoid the sloppy and crazy drunk girls. People I'd never though were like that. My classmates that I saw every day. Respected, admired. They were falling over themselves, coming up to hug me like we were best friends. I hadn't talked to many of them in months.

As people began to come my friend and I slowing made our way to the edge of the huge mosh pit that was forming. We came across tents- for those who wouldn't be able to stand up let alone drive themselves home. Some couples were already going into them together. I shivered.

As I looked around I started to notice that there just wasn't alcohol but drugs as well. Mostly marijuana. It's all I saw but I'm sure there was more. Girls smoked blunts like it was nothing but a sugar stick. Guys took turns lighting them, taking in drags and passing them around. The reeking scent of the pot made me so sick to my stomach and I had to go to the very outskirts of the woods in order not to feel sick. It's the most horrible thing I've ever smelled.

I was offered so many drinks I couldn't keep count. I don't know why they kept offering them to me. Every time I said no and I felt so in control. So proud of myself that I didn't need all of that to have fun. I didn't need to be wasted and high off my mind to be myself. I was just fine being me. They would come up to me, slurring their words saying silly things. Even the people I was never awkward with in school suddenly I couldn't even talk to. I froze because it felt like I didn't even know these people called 'my classmates' any more. They were just drunk versions of themselves. The girls would laugh a lot, giggle even though nothing was funny. The guys would be oddly calm. Almost too calm.

It was 11 o'clock when we left. The party was just getting started but I found myself already exhausted. I didn't know how these kids could do it. My friend and I made our way back to the neighborhood in which we'd come, listening to the drunken and out of control shouts and laughter. We could still hear them at the edge of the woods.

Driving home I'd never felt so content. Seeing what I haven't been missing all these years was so empowering. Realizing that I can say no and that it doesn't make me uncool or lame. It makes me powerful and in control. I felt so glad that I'd had this experience. It made me so proud and happy to be who I am for once. Happy that I like sweet teas instead of beers. Happy that I like to smell the aroma of flowers rather than drugs. Happy that a quiet night of blogging is more fun than a crazy night of partying. Happy that I wear pretty dresses instead of barely anything. Happy that I'm saving myself for a special person instead of giving it up to someone in a tent while I'm drunk. I want to remember my life, not wonder what I did.

This morning was my graduation rehearsal and all of my classmates were forced to roll out of bed (or should I say tents?) and get their hungover selves to school. The rumors were already running rampant through the hallways. Who slept with who. Who got in a fight. Who was so wasted they passed out. I didn't know what was true and what was false, but I didn't know if I could assume the best anymore. Gosh were they a mess. The reeked of woods, booze, and pot. Not to mention B.O. They came in dirty, and with greasy hair. One even without shoes. Their eyes were sleeping and red around the edges, their limbs slow and lethargic. They wore sunglasses and drank water, moaning whenever we were forced to move or get up.

I'm so happy to be me.

With much love, Lauren.


Rubi Ruiz said...

I just started following your blog recently and love it. I'm so happy to see other young ladies taking a stand for something different. It's unfortunate that there aren't more of you, Lauren. I felt the same way in high school and there's nothing better than feeling in control and empowered by the good choices you know you're making. Like you, I'll take sweet tea over beer anyway and blogging over a party. Thanks for writing this, it brings me hope.

With love,

Rubi :)

Maria said...

Wow. I read this entire thing and am so very glad that I did. I've been quite curious too at what happens during the parties my peers host almost every weekend. Even though I am identical to you in the values, I still was curious. Not anymore!
Thanks for writing this post and opening my eyes. There is nothing to be curious about anymore!
I'm so glad you're you :)
xx Maria
P.S: I can't believe how alike we are in like, everything!

Britney @ Scout and Company said...

I completely and utterly agree with you! I always wonder why its fun for you to not remember what happened. And I always feel odd when I don't party and it seems like the rest of the world does. And yeah, I spend my friday nights blogging or baking in some cases. Last night got rowdy when I was on photoshop and then went in to the world of avid. It was awesome :P
Thanks for the honesty too!!!
Britney of L&H

Anonymous said...

It was the same with me on the highschool. I was a Christian and the rest of my classmates wasn't, so they didn't understand why I don't party or drink. But I know that I made good choice when I decided not to be like them and just be me. It can be hard, but it is possible with God's help. You are amazing, never give up! :)
(Forgive my bad English please.)

Demy said...

Wow...this is horrible, isn't it? I always thought that these things only existed in movies, but damn are they real! You see, I live in a very small village in Greece and the parties have nothing to do with drugs. Alcohol yes, of course, and I admit that sometimes I too drink. But...drugs? tents? No, thank you. I can't even believe that there are so stupid guys and it's annoying to think that they are the adults of tomorrow.. Anyway, I'm glad that you stayed true to yourself and honestly, I'd like to meet you sooo much one day <3

bethy said...

Fantastic post. Very inspiring.
Beth xxx

Lottie Scarlett said...

Sounds like such a good party! I understand where you're coming from completely, and I get that the drinking culture is really different to that in the UK but what you've described sounds like an average kind of weekend thing. I really admire your strength of character.

I kind of grew out of this phase when I was about 16, and now prefer a quiet night in, but most people, -even the most sensible people I know- do this sort of thing weekly. I don't think it makes them bad people, on the contrary most of them know their limits and everyone looks out for each other.

Alcohol isn't regarded as sinful or bad over here in the UK and I've found your take on the experience very interesting to read, especially as you're 18...(most kids start experimenting with alcohol at around 13/14, even younger in some areas) I would love to find out more about teen drinking in America as I just can't believe the difference!

Chrissy88 said...

Good for you, Lauren! When I was in high school, I never did try going to any of those types of parties, but I'm sure it would have been the same. I had plenty of fun and had some good friends, and never wanted that kind of so-called "fun." In college, the big drinking night was Thursday and there was a guy who sat behind me in my Friday morning class who reeked every Friday morning. Your descriptions of your classmates at the rehearsal reminded me of him. I don't think he even knew how gross he smelled.

AVY said...

You should be happy to be you, it sounds like a good person.

/ Avy

Angel said...

I gotta say that sounds like an awesome party. And I have agree with what 'Lottie Scarlett' said, I do get its not for everyone (I knew people who went to parties to have fun but never drank or did anything, they were the people that told everyone else what actually happened that night) I like getting buzzed when I drink but not so drunk I'm getting into tents with strangers. I used to 'party' a lot and out grew it around 16/17. Then went to college and pretty much partied most of my first year (but just on weekends.) I knew people who would drink 4-5 days out of the week. Meaning they were always drunk or hung over for class. A lot of people used college as a means to party, I don't understand paying so much money just to drink and do drugs. Such a waste!
Anyways now the parties are more tame and only happen every couple of months for someones birthday or a holiday.
Especially dislike the annoying barely clothed girls, always laughing or yelling. Ah, but thats high school...and college for you.
And good on you, you didn't want to drink, and you didn't. I don't like when people think you always have to be hammered at a party to really enjoy it.

Emily said...

I'm so proud of you Lauren. You showed incredible strength by saying no. Lots of my friends do these kinds of things, and I will not do these whatsoever. I don't understand why they do things like this, the way they just don't care. I'm just so glad that you said no. But I'm also glad that you went too, to see how half the high school population acts.

Mandy said...

I wish I was best friends with you because this is exactly how I feel about high school. It is ridiculous how people act. There were even people throwing up at my graduation. I am so glad that there are kind and inspirational people like you in the world.

Teddi said...

it must be refreshing to remain true to yourself, & who you are. very admirable qualities dear lauren. :)

Stephanie said...

I love the part about how you saw what you were NOT missing.. and how you want to remember your life... I always felt the same.. Even before I became a Christian... But Im really learning now to have compassion on those who are lost and who need Jesus... Congrats on graduating!!

Sampada said...

Actually, when I started reading this and saw that it was a party in the woods, I got so excited. I've always wanted to attend a party in the woods and so I was ready to read about your experience. I'm sorry that you felt that way about your classmates. I can only say one thing, though...this party was nothing compared to some parties in college. I don't know how Kent State is with its partying scene, but my college was notorious for it, and I gladly did not attend one.
My first high school party was the band party for marching band that happened every summer after band camp. I was so weary about it, and I went with my friend...and although it was a VERY decent party with nearly alcohol or drugs (i think a few people snuck some in), I found myself completely at a loss because I just didn't mesh with anyone. So, I understand your sentiments.
On a brighter note, congrats on your graduation! Here's to a lovely lovely future :)


The Dragonfruit said...

And I am SO happy you're you too!
Aha, I really respect you for writing this. And proud that there's another girl out there who thinks the same.
That's crazy how they act. How in the world do they think that's fun? It must've been killer trying to get up the next day for them.
I've never been to a party and I just graduated as well. When I start college I'm thinking that's when I'll get my feet wet and see what it's like. Although like you, I plan on turning down drinks and drugs. It's probably more entertaining just observing the antics of those that do accept intoxication haha.

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Maria Elyse said...

I'm so proud of you, Lauren. ♥

I understand where some of the commenters who disagree with you are coming from (though I have exactly the same opinion as you), however, there is no good or acceptable reason for underage drinking, even if it is "socially typical" or "normal".

I'm so glad you're you too. Don't ever change, and keep staying strong to your beliefs.

Maria Elyse

Nerd Burger said...

I felt the same as you and never changed. I'm 27 years old, married and never smoked a drug, cigarette and have only sipped alcohol once or twice. I just never got it, i wish i did... things would have seemed easier.
The constant "no thanks", the smells and sights that when sober are horrible. I have no stories of "i was so drunk that i..." or "When i was young i...".
I have many piercings and tattoos and people presume i am all hardcore- drinking, fighting, drugs... but i am not nd never have been.
Good luck to you. It will be hard: Not to resist but to have friends that stick by you in this. You will find even your best friends still offer you alcohol as it's "the social thing" and they too don't want to look silly.

Anonymous said...

You GO girl! LOVEE this post. So awesome that you are able to stay true to your beautiful self rather than succumb to peer pressure like most other seniors. I'm 20 years old and went to my first party a few months ago and WOW. Just...wow. I was like you and kind of didnt want to go but I wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I just don't understand how kids do that ritually. Definitely not for me.


Zane said...

Good to hear that you stayed true to yourself and stayed away from the alcohol and drugs, if that's what you feel you need to do. For me it's a bit different, I love to party til the morning light with my friends and I don't see anything bad in it. But I know that everyone has a different view on things and I'm glad that you keep on yours :)

Kezzie said...

I know how you feel! I always felt like that at parties. I always thought that alcohol was such a complete waste of money when I was a teenager (and now) as we didn't have any money to spare in my home and I always wondered (and still wonder) why people want/wanted to get like that. On all those things that you say you did and want to do, I am the same- even though I am now 31, I am still that 16 year old girl who was at parties with my friends thinking I didn't want to drink until I was sick, go off with someone into a darkened room or smoke something dodgy! That said, I went to a fair amount of parties as a teen and at uni (and I even drank a bit, sometimes ,though not now, but all the same, I always wanted to be in control, so I had some so I wouldn't feel self-conscious dancing, ( I know now, that I don't need to drink to dance and have done since I was 21!) but not to waste any money. You made a good choice Lauren!! x

Peacock's Hat said...

This is not meant as a criticism in any way Lauren, more a bit of advice.
I was very like you when I was around 17/18. I'm a Christian, and never really understood why people drank/took drugs. But my attitudes have changed over the last few years whilst being at university. You should never do something you don't want to, and I never bowed to peer pressure, but I understand that it can be a very trying and lonely thing. It gets very boring at parties when people are throwing up everywhere and everyone is trying to get you to drink. Nowadays, I do drink occasionally, but never a huge amount. I don't think you should necessarily do this, but I think if you just tried to be a bit more tolerant of other people's choices it would help you a lot. I was quite uptight and self-righteous about it, and I have relaxed a lot over the last few years. It doesn't mean you have to do it, but if you can accept that other people have the right to make those choices, just as you have the right not to, I think you might find things a lot easier, especially at college. You will come into these sorts of situations again and it won't be easy. You often talk of how lonely you are, and I just think if you could relax about it all a little it would do you a world of good. You don't have to do these things, but I don't think completely avoiding these people is a good idea. Sure, some of them are idiots but a lot of them are perfectly nice people who have been coached by society that this is a way to relax.
I hope this doesn't come across as an attack. I just wanted to give you a bit of advice as someone older who had been in a similar situation.

Unknown said...

That sounds like an awesomely planned out party to me. I'd never come across something like that during high school, though. It sounds like it would be fun to me, but I totally understand if it's not your thing. Don't judge all your classmates too harshly for this one night though. You mentioned there were people you wouldn't expect to be drinking who were participating. I assume they're not out every weekend doing this and it was a special occasion to them. Alcohol isn't all bad, especially if you're not completely wasted. They were just having fun before graduation. You definitely don't have to do the things they do and that's awesome for you to stick to what you want and not be swayed by others, but judging your classmates for this one night isn't really fair. There are a ton of idiots out there and in your school too, I'm sure. Just remember they're not all like that just because they went to a party and had a couple drinks.
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, so please don't think that. I'm proud that you stood your ground!

Victoria / Justice Pirate said...

God bless you for being able to withhold your passion against giving into peer pressure and to be able to witness that.

I went to high school with loads of drunks and drug addicts, and they just KNEW not to invite me to the parties because that just wasn't my thing. However, I was the girl they went to cry to about what went on at the parties and the stories I heard were terrible and I wondered why they wanted to be at those places. I never knew what parties appeared to be like in person, so your wonderful description gave me insight to what you probably went to. I have never tried drugs or had a taste of alcohol ever, just still not something I am interested in even at 28. I'm really glad about it too. When my friends would see me while drunk AT SCHOOL (because they were alcoholics, sadly), they acted SO differently and it was very hard to tell them that they shouldn't indulge in things that made them so miserable all the time, but they somehow had no self control. I am glad that you were able to go and see the sadness. To this day I don't hang out with people as they drink because I think of the scripture that says, "What do you have in common with the unbeliever". . .and seriously, if they are not willing to be in their right mind while being with me, I don't find it "fun" to be around them. . and honestly I know they would feel terrible to see me drunk or high. One of my friends in high school told me she wanted to see me high and then quickly changed her mind about it because she realized I'd probably not be the person I am normally and that scared her. We were all able to get along and be non judgmental of one another in my high school. . .which is rare, or at least this is how I was treated and treated them, but I am very happy I didn't go to parties ever. They sound terrible! Why do people REALLY want to go to them?????? How do parents allow their children to attend, or is is because they used to do it and forgot the damage done at them or because they are not involved in their lives at all that these kids try to escape their pains by partaking in things that unsettle their minds? To this day I don't understand the reasoning for GOOD involving these situations, only bad. :: sigh ::

Livia Rachelle said...

I am soooo glad that I was homeschooled. I am glad I am naive. I hope you can wash the experience out of your mind. I don't want to really have to even see that stuff like that is true (even though some of its legal for my age-most of what goes along it is disgusting). I would be depressed after an experience like that.

April said...

You're happy to be you, and I'm sure they're happy to be them. Different strokes for different folks. Good for you for standing your ground, but I'm sure people were just trying to be nice by offering you a drink. It's like when you go into someone's house and they offer you some water. Just because you say no doesn't mean they're not going to say, "Oh, aren't you sure? You look parched."

OrigamiGirl said...

I know I am a little late to this post. I was backreading your blog cause Ive been busy at work, but I have to say it doesn't have to be such an either/or. I feel a bit like you are demonising people who drink and smoke. When I was your age a lot of my friends were smoking weed. They were my closest and best friends. I thought smoking it was wrong, but not as bad as cigerattes which they didnt do. They offered it to me and I said no and that was that. Even though it was offered a lot it was out of courtesy, so I didnt feel left out, not to force me into it. They weren't crazy druggies ruining their lives. They were and are intelligent people having some fun. I say all this because you will find the same things at college. I know you are also coming at it from a Christian perspective, but I just think it is important to remember that these are just other kids your age having fun. You don't have to join in but it is worth recognising that everyone has many aspects. The people you see getting wasted and throwing up or smoking might also enjoy reading fantasy and doing knitting.

OrigamiGirl said...

I apologise if what I have said above seems overly critical, but like the other commenters I am coming at it from the perspective of someone who really has been there. I was the quiet Christian girl that people laughed at. I know that we of course have had different lives and I dont know all these people at the party, but I know that there are many sides to everyone.

Also, congratulations again on graduating!

Anonymous said...

LOL. Did you hear about ours? It was held in bellville they invited only the drinkers and they got busted. Hard. lol. To see the people with cuts everywhere was entertaining.

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Christine said...

You go girl! How awesome that you stood up for yourself and honored God doing it! :) I still haven't been to a party- and I'm a senior in college. That's totally not my scene. The comment before this is so embarrassing though.. talk about someone who values themselves by following the crowd and going against the law. hmmm... interesting. Keep it up girl, love your blog! Hope you can visit mine too. :)

God bless,

Anonymous said...

Are you fucking kidding me?? Ok so you don't like to party thats fine, but don't try and degrade those who do. Where im from a party is a chance for everyone to let their inner craziness and wildness out for a night, then afterwards we all go back to being are normal selves for a few weeks or days, and then we do it again. And you know why we do it? Because its FUN. That's right, and it might not be your idea of fun but it certainly is for a hell of alot of other people.

Anonymous said...

As an American teen, I have no idea how you hadn't gone to a party before. I mean, I am a straight a dedicated student and my first party was like grade 6. First drink grade 7/8. First had pot my freshman year in high school.

I'm sixteen now and I don't do drugs. All I do is drink occasionally. You are definitely a unique voice and by no means represent the average teenager here in the US. Good for you! I actually find your attitude refreshing. Not one of my friends hasn't not done drugs, partied.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

you a bitch

Unknown said...

This is a super nice post! I liked it a lot. I also threw a DIY bash on my birthday and it was also first time DIY bash experience for me but I totally enjoyed it. I threw my party at one of local NYC venues and would like to throw such parties in future too.

Smith said...

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