On becoming a first time dog mom in my 30s

Me at age 9 with a family friends' dogs

I grew up with cats. My childhood was filled with them, whether they were my grandma's or ours that I had until I was 20. Then, a few years later I adopted Tito just after moving to New York.

Owning a dog was never something I desired or really pictured for my life. There were always kids in my grade school classes begging their parents for silky labradors or hypoallergenic poodle mixes, playing Nitendogs on their DS as proof they could take care of one in real life. Their pencil cases were covered in Lisa Frank style dog stickers and lined notebooks boasted holographic puppies on the front.

I didn't share my peers' obsession. My core memory of a dog was formed around age 8 when I was helping my best friend with her paper route. Sometimes if I slept over from Saturday into Sunday, I would help out. Her mom would drive us door to door in the family minivan and we would hop out, bringing the papers to the porch. 

One morning I went up to a house and a dog startled me. The dog surely could sense my trepidation, and started running towards me. I took off stumbling backwards towards the safety of the minivan, terrified as the dog barked after me. Tripping over my sandals, I fell and scrapped my legs on the driveway. It's one of those memories that is traumatizing from a child's perspective but probably wasn't as dramatic in real life. But it's always stuck with me and influenced the way I saw dogs.

Big personality to match a big pup

When I first started dating C, he introduced me to Benji. At the time, Benji was a year and a half old St. Pyrenees pup, a mixture between a St. Bernard and a Great Pyrenees. He was huge. Already relatively terrified of dogs, having a 100lb tornado of fur jumping at me was startling and off-putting. He was still in his puppy years and naughty, full of rambunctious energy and the stubborn disposition Pyrs are known for. Truthfully, sometimes I dreaded dealing with Benji. He seemed to validate my pre-conceived notions of dogs.

Over the next year and a half as C and I dated long distance, I began to get to know Benji better. I was no longer scared, but I still didn't feel comfortable being around him. When we decided it was time for C and Benji to move to New York, I had so many questions in my heart I was afraid to say out loud. Could I live with a dog? Take care of one? How much harder were things going to be in NYC now with a large breed dog?

Tito and Benji up close & personal during our move. They tolerate each other, at best lol.

We drove C and Benji's things from Ohio to New York in a U-Haul on a hot August Day. Stuck in a tight crate for 8 hours, Benji cried most of the trip (not that I blame him). But a part of me wondered, "was this a mistake?"

When we got to New York, there was an adjustment for all of us. I watched C as he casually held Benji's retractable leash in his hand, the cord swaying easily back and forth. "Do you want to try?" he asked.

I gripped his leash so tight my fingers hurt. I had never walked a dog before. I was terrified he was going to get loose, that maybe I'd drop the leash and we'd lose him forever. My joints ached for days after because I'd held onto him so tightly. Every time a person passed us on a walk, I panicked. I was filled with shame, feeling like they must sense I didn't know what I was doing and judging me.

Warming up to each other those first months after the move

The first few months were hard as I learned to coexist and care for Benji. Having a dog was such foreign territory to me: everything from taking him out, to playing, grooming, training, and feeding.

I was struggling. I was constantly feeling shame about not knowing what I was doing. So, I started reading more on taking care of dogs, particularly his breed, and what their needs were. Slowly over time, my fear started to fade away and I was able to comfortably be with Benji alone. 

Becoming BFFs <3

I started singing him songs in the morning and taking his leash on walks with C. I was able to groom him properly and knew how far he could walk before he started to overheat. I understood his triggers that made him reactive and how to calm him down. I learned his "sweet" spot for scratches that makes his leg twitch and the places that will always be a no-go (Lord help us when we touch his paws).

At 6 months of living with Benji, I really felt like I was getting this dog mom thing down.

Then in February Benji had his first seizure. It was terrifying for C and I to wake up and see him experience a full-body, grand mal seizure for the first time. We cried for hours after getting back from the ER, traumatized by what we'd seen and what Benji had been through. We didn't leave him alone for two weeks, making sure one of us was always at the apartment in case he had another one.

Saying goodbye to Benji for his 24hr stay at the pet ER 

He continued to have seizures more consistently and it broke us. I felt such a helplessness in my heart for Benji, not knowing how to stop them. He started on one seizure medicine and after a terrifying cluster of three seizures within 8 hrs, we added a second medicine. I looked into his deep, big eyes, not understanding how something so awful could happen to this sweet animal.

Spending time together in Ohio. Such a nature boy.

Over the last few months, we've been adjusting to our new normal to control Benji's epilepsy. We give him medicine twice a day and take him in for regular blood draws to monitor his levels. Since May, he's been seizure-free as I write this <3 

Benji & I this August spending time outside, our fave thing to do together.

It has been a journey. One that has brought me infinitely closer to Benji and I feel changed as a person because of him. I am a better person because of Benji. He has taught me how to love and care unconditionally. When I spend time with him or look into his soft eyes, I feel such a beautiful love for him and desire to always make sure he is taken care of. In a sense, I feel like his mother. 

More recently, I've been spending a lot more one-on-one time with Benji while C is at work and it has given me an even deeper connection to him. I see his unique moods and personality quirks that make him so, so special. While there are moments of irritation still (why do we have to sniff every single thing on the block?), I never thought I'd say this, but...I love being a dog mom.

Has having a pet changed your life and perspective? I'd love to hear!

With much love, 

Lauren

Do we ever really feel ready for anything?

"You should start considering egg retrieval and freezing if you don't plan to start a family in the next few years. You know, this is the best your eggs will ever be"

I was laying on my back, spread eagle, while my gynecologist performed my yearly women's exam in the back of his stuffy office in Chelsea. He was a friendly man in his mid-50s who I'd been seeing the last few years, always throughout, yet gentle, with my exams. A few years back he'd inserted a copper IUD that was one of the most unexpectedly excruciating pains I've yet to experience (why did no one warn me..?). The IUD was good for five years and I was only 28. I would be 33 when it was time for a new one. Surely, I would know by then more than I knew now. I would have it figured out. 

At 31 now, I can confidently say I do not have it any more "figured out." I turned 31 on August 1st. My birthday has long been a day I dread, strange for a Leo, but then again I never felt connected to my sun sign. As I jokingly say with my therapist, I do believe in some woo woo shit to an extent, and finding out I'm a Pisces ascent made things finally click. I've always been emotional, sensitive and empathetic to a fault. I've never liked to make my birthday a big deal, typically opting for a quiet day spent alone. 

Who likes to be alone on their birthday? I found out through many disappointing birthdays that I do, I guess. There is a need to honor within me all of the complex emotions my birthday brings to the surface. My birthday is a reminder of the passing of time and passing stages of my life. Which truthfully, this stage feels as though it's slipping out of my grasp year after year. 

There is promise of your 30s being far more enjoyable and less tumultuous than your 20s and at 31, it's hard to say quite yet. While there is some much appreciated consistency and stability I've found in this new decade, I can't help but feel more confused about life now than I ever did in my 20s.

How do you ever know? Do we ever really feel ready for anything? Is there a moment when  the adult milestones you see as a child become less daunting? I think of my mother getting married, freshly having turned 20 just days prior. Buying her first house by the time by 25 and having me at 27. 

At 27 I was still going through heartbreaks with nonchalant boys, old enough to know better.

--

The choice to have children is a deeply personal and intimate decision for every woman. 

For a long time, I was unsure if I wanted children. After losing my grandmother two years ago, I reflected during that time on familial generations and carrying on memories of our loved ones. I knew then I wanted her to always be remembered through me and beyond me. I want my mother to meet her grandchildren and for her to see me cradling a small being swaddled in a blanket, becoming a mother for the first time myself.

And at the same time, I feel so distant from this reality that so many people my age, and often younger, inhabit. It never occurred to me when I moved to NYC at 22 how different a path I would take. For those first few years, the lives of my peers didn't feel so different from my own. And then year after year as everyone grew up, I felt like a child left behind at the after school pick up line. Waiting for an adult to show up.

I would never change the last 8 years of post-grad. I feel happy with my life. I look around at what I built, how I've grown and nurtured my truest self here, and I am proud. At the same time I wonder "what's next?" 

Timelines keep me awake at night. I do the calculations in my mind next to a soundly sleeping C as the horns and voices from the street below drift into our apartment. If I'm married by 33 I can have a house by 34 and then still get pregnant before 35. Am I on track? What if things get derailed, what is the timelines change? They can't change. There's no time. I'm too late already, I'm behind. I--

-

One foot is planted in my past. One foot is planted in my future. I want them both, selfishly for myself. I desire to hang on to everything I have because I feel myself falling behind. Life has changed slowly for the last decade, then all at once. My parents moving out of my childhood home of 25 years. Learning to be an adult child. Fostering a long-term relationship with a partner. Saving for a house. Reflecting on reality of my fertility window. Contemplating my career. Trying to discover what truly feels right for me and not just for now. 

-

"Does anyone ever feel ready for anything," I asked my therapist this week. It was the last ten minutes of our session and we were tying up the loose ends of our bi-weekly conversation.

She paused a moment on the zoom call, contemplating a response. "You know, I would say there are some people who know. The fog clears and they cross that decision line pretty confidently. But, a majority of people? They might feel 80-90% ready for something, but they'll never feel 100%. They take a leap into the decision and know that they'll figure it out as they go along, with the help of those around them."

I guess there isn't a right way to "do life." Many of the people whose paths I admire have probably not felt confident in their decisions when making them, whether it was buying a house, getting married, having a baby, moving to new city, starting a new job, entering a new relationship or whatever life may bring. 

This quote sums it up:

Everything has been figured out, except how to live. - Jean-Paul Sartre

With much love,

Lauren

Taking Time to Heal

In early May I took a step back from social media for a bit of a break. After 15 years of creating content, I don't think I can recall a period longer than a few days where I didn't share some update on social media. Taking a week off from work and even longer from my personal pages has been something I've needed for a long time.

I do believe if you work yourself too much, your body will eventually force you to stop. Since January I've been fighting the pull towards rest, believing I could outrun its call.

My mind has been sick. My body has been sick. My little family has been struggling and I've felt helpless in showing up for them with the time and mental capacity they need. 

In February our four year old dog, Benji, started having seizures. The day after Valentine's Day, my partner C and I were sleeping and woke up to his cry. We found him thrashing on the floor and foaming at the mouth. We were paralyzed with fear. 

Once Benji came out of it, he stumbled around aimlessly in a trance: we knew we had to get him to the emergency vet. We were shocked when the vet told us he'd had a seizure. This wasn't something that had ever even crossed our mind as a possibility. Benji was a young dog with no history of epilepsy. We hoped (and prayed) it was just a one-off occurrence, perhaps triggered by a new food he'd started. Life resumed and although we were weary, we were hopeful we could move past it.

In April we woke up again to him having a seizure. It was similar to the first, but this time we confidently knew to record, time and document it. Our confidence was shaken when just a few hours later he had another seizure. Multiple seizures within 24 hours of each other are called cluster seizures. We knew then it wasn't just a one-off occurrence and he needed medication to try and control his seizures. 

Since then we've started him on Keppra (Levetiracetam), an anticonvulsant medication. I wish I could say Keppra has been successful, but even with increasing his dosages over the last few months Benji's seizures are more frequent, about every 10 days. This morning at 5AM he had another one, which feels especially discouraging after we recently increased his dosage from 2x a day to 3x. He's now at the maximum dosage for Keppra.

From here, it's really just experimenting to find the right cocktail of medicine that will work to control his seizures to ideally only one to two every six months. We've also been working on integrating some holistic treatments like fish oil in the AM and melatonin in the PM to see if they have any positive effect. 

And then there's been Tito. Tito, my little best-friend who has been with me through so much over the last 8 years. I was only in NYC for two weeks when my roommates and I adopted him. I don't know what  New York (or life) looks like if he's not in it.

Gradually over the years Tito's health has been declining, really due to his age. At 17, he's lived a full life for a cat -- especially for one with only one tooth left. A few years ago he was diagnosed with hyper-thyroidism and we've been trying to slow down its progression since with twice a day methimazole. 

Earlier this year around the time Benji's seizures started, Tito was also diagnosed with stage two renal disease. He throws up quite frequently and his disposition has definitely been shifting. He seeks comfort and has taken to sleeping on my pillow above my head every night. All we can do is continue to give him palliative care and love him unconditionally.

Whenever life feels too overwhelming or complicated to continue on, I find myself seeking refuge in Ohio. The simplicity and comfort of home always brings me back to my gravity's center. I knew I had to take some time off both professionally and personally and spend time in Ohio in order to heal from the last few months.

It's day six now of rest. I find myself settling into it more willingly than day one. It becomes easier to sleep in. More natural to do nothing but read, run and relax. Even my pets feel more at peace as they look up at me and seem to understand their mother is finally letting go. Nature has been so healing as I spend time on our front porch, listening to the sounds of suburbia: the low rumble of lawn mowers, children playing, birds chirping and cars leisurely winding down the street. The chimes we received at my grandmother's funeral nearly two years ago play softly now as I write. Benji sits at my feet, tufts of fur blowing in the wind as he lays stretched out on the warm concrete. I've let go of the obligation to create. I don't feel a desire to make things other than this blog post, which feels cathartic to write. 

This is a stop in my healing journey. It's not a solution for the culmination of creative burnout and heavy sadness I feel. This week taught me the importance of slowing down to clear my mind in order to gather clarity about what's next. I feel a calling for change and have for awhile. I'm working on the what, the how will come later. 

I hope you're well. I miss you and will be back hopefully soon. 

With much love,

Lauren

Reflections in Personal Style Over 15 Years

THE BEGINNING 

Sometimes it's hard to believe I've been sharing outfits on the internet since I was 16. This year will mark 15 years of documenting all the ups and downs of my style and I've been reflecting on this journey.

This blog started in 2009, when Instagram wasn't even around yet and Tumblr was still in its infancy. At the time, I drew most of my fashion inspiration from magazines. I loved to spend hours at the local Barnes & Noble browsing the high brow ones like Elle, Harpers Bazaar and Marie Claire. My mom used to get subscriptions to a few others and I'd cut out the designer shoes and hand bags, making collages of items I dreamed of owning when I was an adult. 

The other source of inspiration I turned to were fashion blogs. Blogs were gaining popularity, especially in the fashion space. Tavi Gevinson, Bryan Boy and Sea of Shoes were some of my big name favorites, but it was the smaller, more niche vintage blogs I really connected to. Vintage was having a moment, and it really was its own subculture in fashion. For the first time, I identified and wanted to be a part of a group,   so I started my own blog to document my exploration of vintage fashion. Some OGs may remember,  my blog's initial name was Someone Like You. You can read my first post here.

FINDING MY STRIDE WITH VINTAGE: 2009 - 2011

Many of the first fashion blogs I first followed focused on true vintage styling. A few of my favorites were Strawberry Koi (now Aya Smith Art), A Clothes Horse, Wish Wish Wish, and Liebelmarine (now on stack), and I would discover up and coming bloggers on sites like Lookbook.nu and Chictopia. 

Movies and books also became huge sources of inspiration and education in my early days of learning about vintage. Here is one of those first light bulb moments for me in 2010.  I took on renewed interest in the local library to rent out classics like Casablanca, Roman Holiday and Breakfast at Tiffany's. 

1940s and 1950s quickly became my favorite decades, and my dad took me to the nearest vintage store 30 minutes away called Stitches in Time. What a magical memory I'll always hold close to my heart. I was 16, and this was my version of a mall. I received for Christmas from my parents in 2010 my first vintage pieces: a rainbow taffeta 1950s circle skirt and wide brimmed red straw hat. 

I wore full vintage to high school as I continued to delve deeper into the community over my junior and senior years. Coming home from school and sharing my outfits online with a community of vintage lovers from across the world excited me. I felt like I belonged -- something I longed for in small town Ohio. I was soon sharing daily, logging hundreds of outfit posts every year and investing a lot into my blog. Thrifting became an affordable way to continue exploring my new passion and I started sharing my hauls on the blog, too. 

Because of my blog, I knew I wanted to continue with a formal education in fashion, so in 2012 I began studying Fashion Merchandising at Kent State University. 

TWEE TAKE OVER: 2012 - 2016

In 2012 blogging was fading in popularity thanks to buzzy social media platforms like Instagram and Tumblr. People were still blogging, but blogs became a secondary priority to sharing on places that provided instant gratification, attention and growth opportunities.

While I was still running Someone Like You in college, my style started shifting out of true vintage and into twee vintage.  Twee was much more childlike and over-the-top feminine. Zooey Deschanel was the twee icon and It girls like Alexa Chung and Lana Del Rey were reblogged across every girl's Tumblr.  Alexa and Lana integrated many twee elements into their outfits like Peter Pan collars and flower crowns.

I dreamed of owning everything American Apparel (especially in the sunflower print), but the best I could do was one of their $20 hair bows. Fast Fashion brands like Forever21, Charlotte Russe and even dELiA*s (which was still around at the time) played heavily into vintage-inspired & twee styles.  This was how I supplemented my mostly-thrifted closet. If I was lucky, for Christmas or my birthday I would receive a dress from ModCloth, one of the biggest retro clothing retailers of the 2010s. One of my favorite dresses from Modcloth was cobalt blue with a subtle heart pattern and crochet Peter Pan collar. I wore it on Christmas Day after receiving it that morning and still have it hanging in my childhood bedroom in Ohio.

Some of my favorite pieces I loved to wear during this era were: circle skirts, Peter Pan collars, lace socks, knee high socks, ballet flats, lace everything, bow print, headbands, cat eye sunglasses, cardigans, flower crowns, pearls, locket necklaces. For most of the early 2010s I also has the go-to twee hairstyle: blunt bags. 

Often I look back on 2012 - 2016 as one of my personal favorite eras of style. While it doesn't feel right for me now at 30, it did when I was navigating the complexities of my early 20s. I found a lot of my identity in my personal style and the twee community. 

LOST IN THE TRENDS: 2016 - 2018

Once I graduated college in 2016, I moved to New York City. With two suitcases and no job I was determined to fit into the New York persona I'd been dreaming about since my internship at Cosmopolitan Magazine the previous summer. 

One thing about New York City is there will always be someone 'more' than you. More stylish. More beautiful. More wealthy. It's an impossible standard to keep up with and at 22, I thought I'd try. My first few years of living in NYC was chasing every trend I thought would make me stand out. After paying rent, what was left of my paltry paychecks went to shopping at Zara. I was working my first big girl job at Kiehl's with older and established co-workers who had the means to invest in what was stylish. It made me constantly feel insecure. Not just that I couldn't keep up with everyone else (in many aspects), but following trends didn't allow me to feel like my style was mine. I became a mix match of everything I absorbed in NYC and none of it was really reflective of who I was. 

Thrifting wasn't like it was back home, where it was easy and affordable to find vintage. I struggled with creating a wardrobe that felt like mine and it showed. 

CONSCIOUS STYLE: 2018 - 2020

In 2018 I'm 24 and working a more established job at a clothing brand. It feels good to be working in fashion, something my degree was actually in. It's around this time I also start digging deeper into sustainability. 

Around this time, I watched a documentary called The True Cost, about the shocking realities of the fashion industry, I was changed. I didn't want to buy fast fashion anymore. I felt like if I didn't know the true working conditions and pay of someone who made my clothes, I didn't want to buy it at all. I started researching ethical fashion brands who had more transparency. One of the first I discovered was Everlane, which felt like an anomaly back in 2018. They really were one of the first of its kind in transparency for consumers, and while I couldn't afford most of their pieces, I took to their philosophy. My new perspective on slow, intentional fashion also made me second-guess my job at The Gap. I felt morally torn working for a company that didn't align with my values and eventually switched back into beauty.

I started buying less and rewearing what I had more. I became really interested in remixing challenges and following capsule wardrobes. I wanted my outfit choices not just to make me feel good, but do good, as well. I stripped my style back to the basics and wore a lot of simple, classic and neutral pieces so I could optimize my closet. I started #PassingWhimsiesRemix on Instagram where I shared all the different ways you could wear an item, and it became one of my most popular series. My blog was mostly abandoned, sharing on 9 posts in all of 2018. It was too hard to keep up with multiple social platforms and juggle a full time blog. 

Thrifting my main source to get new (to me) clothes. Really other than the Everlane Boss Boots I saved up 6 months for or the upcycled Girlfriend leggings I became obsessed with, I committed to no longer buying clothes new from stores. 

Overtime, I began to find myself limited in my closet and uninspired. I had donated the more trend-forward pieces in favor of a cohesive and versatile wardrobe (peak 2010s millennial-core), but found myself lost again on what my style truly was when everything was stripped back.

Then the pandemic hit.

IN MY EXPLORATION ERA: 2020 - PRESENT

Suddenly getting dressed for my 9-5 at the office became 24/7 sweats or pajamas as I began working from home in 2020. I didn't own many leisure pieces at the time, but invested in some once I saw my new reality for the foreseeable future. The pandemic shut down any exploration of my style for months as I grappled with the uncertainty taking over the city at the height of the pandemic. I was alone in my apartment with no family and it was a difficult time. By the summer, I took to fashion again as a way to express myself during a time of uncertainty.

From 2020 to present, it's really been a continual exploration and evolution of my style. The pandemic awoke something within me: a creativity I hadn't explored since I was in high school. I got really into vintage again and dressing in all the different decades, but especially 90s. I started my TikTok account in 2020 and re-found my style on the app through discovering new accounts that tapped into 90s nostalgia. I'd always really loved 90s fashion, but I started doing more fully authentic looks and completely committed in 2022 when I cut my hair into a pixie.

I'm often asked what inspired me to go from a shoulder grazing bob to a pixie. I'd been in a relationship for 6 months with someone who didn't make me feel like myself. After it ended, I rebelled with my appearance. I pierced my nose, my ears and then cut all my hair off. It was liberating to explore this new physical expression of my style. There were a few months when I didn't know what the hell was going on with my style after I cut my hair short. I felt challenged by traditional gender norms and what short hair meant for the way I got dressed in the morning. 

It didn't mean shit. You can do anything, whether your hair is short or long, and I found a newfound freedom with no boundaries holding me back.

Last August, I turned 30 and I'm still unsure if it's placebo or real, but I do feel different. I feel hungry to discover what the next phase of my style is and ready to push the boundaries once again. I've been itching for something new for a while now, I'm just not quite sure what yet. I know that I do feel different and want to reflect that outwardly in where my style goes next.

With much love,

Lauren

7 Things to Know Before Getting Your First Pixie Cut

I've had my pixie cut for over two years but I still remember how scared and anxious I was before the big chop. Before going to a pixie length, I'd had a chin length bob for six years, so I was no stranger to short hair. Still, going from a bob to a pixie was nerve wracking and I learned a lot about my style and confidence in those first few months. You may be thinking of getting a pixie and feeling overwhelmed (and scared) where to start. 

If this is you, don't worry.  ☺ Here are 7 things I wish someone would have told me before getting a pixie cut to help you with your journey.

BEFORE THE CUT 

Start a Pinterest board.

Sometimes it's hard to describe what kind of hairstyle you're looking for when you don't know the technical terms. Visuals are always helpful to share with your stylist so they can get a feel for what you're looking. Starting a Pinterest board also gives you a personal space to save all of your ideas in one place, here is mine as an example. You'll start to see patterns in what you like and it will be helpful when narrowing down the exact cut you're looking for. 

Follow pixie accounts.

A great way to prep you for your pixie journey is to follow others who already have the cut on social media. It will help familiarize yourself seeing short hair on others so you can begin to imagine it on yourself. It's also a great way to gather styling inspiration in real time for when you go for the big chop. Here are some of my favorite pixie accounts. 

Research stylists. 

When making such a big change, you want to feel confident in your decision. Part of that comes from trusting your stylist. Look at your stylist's portfolio. Do they have examples of short hair? Do they cut short hair how you envision yours to look? If not, do some research in your area for stylists who specialize in short hair cuts, or even look into barbers. I have not gone to a barber, but so many women have shared great experiences with both male and female barbers cutting their hair (and it's usually cheaper!).

During my first pixie cut - I was so excited! 

DURING THE CUT

Put your best pixie self forward. 

Cutting your hair off can be a vulnerable experience, often marking a huge life change. I know for me I was 6 months out from a break up that really changed me, and I was ready to start fresh. The day off your appointment, wear what makes you feel most confident as you enter this chapter. I loved wearing a red lip and a vintage-inspired outfit to my appointment to channel my inner Audrey Hepburn. 

How my first pixie turned out, I was inspired by Audrey Hepburn!

A more recent trim -- totally different.

AFTER THE CUT

Know it's ok if you don't like it at first. 

Although I chose to go short and felt excited about my decision, it was still a difficult adjustment. I felt regret. It felt scary to have nothing to hide behind anymore, with the short cut placing all my features on full display. For a couple of weeks, I struggled to accept my newfound appearance. Cutting my hair impacted how I did my makeup, how I dressed and how I saw myself. 

It's ok if you don't fall in love with your cut at first like you thought you would. Cutting your hair is just as much an emotional change as it is physical. Be gentle with yourself as you adjust to your new appearance and know that if you don't love it, there is no shame in growing it out.

Be prepared to experiment. 

Like most people, I did a lot of research and prepping before getting a pixie. I had an entire Pinterest board full of different styles and types of pixies, but was completely overwhelmed at which style would be right for me. I know if feels important to get it right the first time, but I promise you it will probably take 3 or 4 trims until you find your personal groove.

Early on, I learned quickly on I didn't like the back to look flat, so I started having my stylist use clippers. Then, I wished it had more texture, so I brought in pictures to show and my stylist started using texturizing sheers. The slightest adjustment to a pixie can make a world of difference in your cut and your confidence, so keep communicating with your stylist until you reach pixie perfection. 

Styling makes a big difference. 

While pixie cuts are lower maintenance (for the most part) than longer hair, I find that it does help to have a few go-to products for styling. It's also just fun! No need to go out and buy a bunch of fancy products. Here are the basics to start with.

Pomades - thicker paste that helps you shape your pixie and provide medium hold

Gels - lighter-weight, max-hold products perfect for slicking down hair

Texture sprays - give you volume and texture without feeling heavy

Some of my favorites

I hope this post was helpful! Getting a pixie completely changed me. It empowered me to step into my best, most authentic self and I love helping others on their journey.

If you have pixie cut questions, send me a DM on Instagram (@passingwhimsies). 

With much love,

Lauren