Growing up I had one best friend who I did everything with. She was like my sister and her family was like my second family. We were best friends for nine years, but as we started to grow older we both started to change. Her interests were not my interests anymore, and vice versa. So, the end of my eighth grade school year we ended our friendship and haven't really talked throughout the past few years. However, this morning I was reconnected with this friend of mine through a tragedy. Her twenty three year old brother who I grew up with died.
When I found out I was in such a state of unbelievable shock. I've never had anyone in my life pass away and it just didn't seem real that he could really be gone. Forever. Never to come back again. I just started to cry and couldn't hold anything back because everything seemed so surreal. He couldn't be dead. He was too young and had his whole life ahead of him. I contacted my old friend and went over to her house. Something I haven't done in a very long time. When she answered the door we both just burst into tears and sat there crying and hugging each other in silence. We were both just in disbelief.
To this very moment I'm still sad,hurt, and confused. It doesn't seem right that someone so young should die. Someone who had everything going for him. Why did he have to die...? Seeing my friend's family crying, people who had been like a second family to me for so many years was devastating. The hurt and grief I saw as I looked into their eyes was so heartbreaking. I know what I'm going through, and I just can't even imagine what they're going through. I just can't stop asking, why...?
This whole situation has been such a realization and wake up call for me. It doesn't matter if I'm seventeen of seventy: any day could be my last. I need to start to appreciate my life and cherish everything and everyone in it, because I'll never truly know when my last day will be. When it will be my last time to say goodbye to the people I love in my life. I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself all the time and instead live my life to the fullest. To live my life with no regrets and appreciate every single thing God has given me.... I've so often thought today, "why did he die and I get to live? What makes me so special that I get to live my life while his ended so soon?" None of this makes sense to me.
Wednesday will be the funeral and I plan on taking school off for it. To be there for my old best friend and her family. To be there for the wonderful man who passed away to heaven <3
With much love, Lauren.