a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Forgotten Soldier.

Purple Sleeveless Lace Overlay Dress: Forever21.
Red Silk Ribbon Belt: Forever21.
Black T-Strap Shoes: Target.
Gold Long Chain Necklace: Thrifted.
Gold Clip On Circle Earrings: Thrifted.

I just can't help it. As much lately as I have been trying to be happy that summer is here and carefree, I have felt kind of lost, lonely, and forgotten. I know that it is not fun to read sob stories all the time on a blog; people want to read positive things. I am sorry, but this is my real life and how I feel, not some fantasy world where I am happy all the time. Being me is sometimes...very difficult, and this blog is a place not only to showcase my clothes, but to release about my everyday life.
I feel as though no one in my actual life cares about me a lot. The supposedly "best days of my life" are slipping away with no one to spend it with. My boyfriend has been rather absent from my life lately, and it's hurting. I always feels like he would be okay without me, for he has so many friends and he gets along really well with people. Me, though, I am very introverted and often come off as perhaps snotty to people because I will not talk. It's not because I'm snotty, it's because I'm scared and shy to talk to them. Everyone in my life is leaving me behind and forgetting about me: I'm not important to them. I feel so silly for crying when writing this, but I just feel so miserable. I smile in these blog pictures and act like I'm always okay, but sometimes I'm just so unhappy.

Even today, I felt so silly. The one thing I feel I'm good at in the world is putting together outfits and wearing my clothes. Lately, I have felt as though I can't even do that right. Even today at school when I know it goes to another deserving person and they I am happy for her, someone else won the Best Dressed Student Award at the awards ceremony. My outfits lately have felt half-heart and blah... nothing I am very proud of, which makes me feel as if I have lost my talent.
I am terrible sorry for the little pity party on here, but it's just that it does make me feel better to let some of these feelings out. Hopefully things will get better, and I'll start feeling better so that I can post some happy instead of sad things on the blog! Tomorrow is Friday, so there is something to definitely look up to! Perhaps a little thrifting adventure on Saturday morning alone with help ease and comfort me.
Hope everyone has a lovely night and day tomorrow....
Sincerely, Lauren.


Mila said...

I am so sorry for how you've been feeling. Don't be sorry for spilling it all out...it helps. You're smart, fashionable, pretty, so so nice, an you will go far. Don't ever think anything else!! I'm sure your life will get better soon, and I hope you feel better.:)


Jenna said...

Don't worry, moments like that always come and go. I know how you're feeling. You may think that people think you're "snotty" but when you're in those crappy moods you'll think of anything bad and believe it. I bet a million bucks that people think you're the exact opposite of snotty. You're one of the sweetest bloggers out there!!
And I know how it feels not to get an award for something you're good at. Happened to me yesterday!!
What do they sing in the Lion King, a kumba ba nata... something like that :)
---- Jen

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