a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Sunday, September 2, 2012


It's twelve o'clock and I'm sitting in my house in a wet, white dress. I'm drenched with water from sitting out in my front driveway in the rain. Crying.

I feel like all I do is cry anymore. I can sit here and smile in my outfit posts, write about nail polish parties and post pictures of my everyday life, but that's not what I feel right now. All I feel is like crying.

I wake up crying. I go to bed crying. I cry in my nightmares. And I cry at any given point during the day. I am weak. I am pathetic. And all I know how to do is cry.

Because nothing has ever killed me so much in my life than this has. No depression, OCD, loneliness, college, losing my best friends, or any other obstacle I've come up against can surmount to the pain I feel in this. How much it kills me. God, kills me more and more each and every single day.

I don't want pity. I don't want condolences. I don't want you all to feel sorry for me, that's not my aim.

 I just don't know what to do anymore but cry in my driveway in the rain at 12 at night, praying. Praying with all my heart.

Praying and crying is all I know how to do anymore.
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