a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Maxi Skirt, Butterfly Romper, Wedges: Thrifted.
Lipstick in Lime Crime's My Beautiful Rocket.

When you stare at your face after years and years every morning you memorize it. Intentionally, unintentionally. You see the things other people don't see about your face. Sometimes you highten the imperfections, making them out bigger than they actually are. Other times, you miss the small details that make you beautiful. 

This is what I see in my face.

I have two dull brown eyes. One is bigger than the other when I smile and they're shaped differently. It always makes it hard to make even cat eyes with my eyeliner. I like my eyes when they smile and I don't like them when I don't smile. They have this sparkle when I smile and other people, when they take pictures of me, tell me to do that smile when my eye sparkle. I know exactly what they're talking about because I've seen it, too. It makes it so you can tell when I'm happy, and when I'm just pretending. I have a mole underneath my right eye, it's almost too tiny to see but I love it. It reminds me of my favorite Bratz doll when I was younger, Yasmin; she had an identical one. My mascera always smears underneath my eyes and creates dark smudges I'm embarrassed of; I need to invest in waterproof. Or some tissues. On the left side of my face on my upper lip I still have the hint of an elevated scar where when I was 10 I fell and scratched my face on the latch of the cage for my pet bunny. I put scar fading medicine on it every day for a year and it's still there. My face is obnoxiously round and has no definition and one side of my face looks different than the other. I don't even think the two sides look like the same person. So when I take pictures, I only show my left side because I don't like the right. It doesn't look like me. I didn't used to have a butt chin but I think I'm getting one now. How does that happen? My bottom lip is so full it spills over. It's my favorite. I love to apply ample amounts of red lipstick to it, accentuating its pout. My top lip, it draws to an uneven cupids bow that always is a pain in the butt to put lipstick on. No matter how hard I try it always looks dumb. My teeth are all straight even after not having braces (the only luck I've ever had). They're probably the only thing I'm confident to show; the only feature I have going for me. The hallows of my cheeks have tiny, brown scars on them from old acne and on my forehead there's fresh bumps from my always greasy bangs that clog my pores. I always try and brush my bangs over the blemishes so no one can see, changing my side part depending on what area of my forehead looks bad that day. My eye brows are what surprise me because I never thought I would want defined brows. As a little girl I was so eager to pluck them, get rid of my unibrow (truly). And now I love their definition. They add strength and a timeless look to my face. I take good care of them, always filling them in every day with eye shadow, trying to draw attention to them rather then my eyes. It's not like anyone would be looking at them anyways. Someone once told me that the first thing that makes a boy like a girl is her eyes and then I got disappointed. Because who would ever love mine? I have what people have said is 'the perfect nose' but I think it's just ordinary. A nose is a nose after all.

This is what I see in my face with every fleeting glance in a reflective window, every long gaze after washing my face and seeing it bare with no makeup. Sometimes I recognize myself and other times I wonder who in the world is the girl staring back at me. She can be hideous, ugly, ordinary, imperfect. She can be beautiful, classic, and sparkling

What do you see in your face? What do others see in it?

With much love, Lauren.


Sammi said...

I know how it is to constantly scrutinize your face, as I am very much the same way. But believe me, your eyes are GORGEOUS, and they do sparkle, but even more than that, they have an amazing amount of depth! And I think you have beautiful bone structure. I have a very round face too, but I have always thought that you are absolutely stunning. I know this post wasn't so that people would compliment you, but as I know I am my worst critic, you are also yours. You are a breath-taking girl! This outfit is gorgeous and I love your hair here. Done.

xox Sammi

Unknown said...

Hey, you're face is really pretty. No one has a perfect face and even people you think have a perfect face have something about it that they don't like. I have the same problem with doing a cat eye though. I can never get it right!My eyes look similar until I smile :/ Then they're all wonky. But I know that it's usually only me that notices.


Rachel Sayumi Porter said...

you are gorgeous! I'm glad you can see the beauty in yourself. :) LOVE the skirt btw!

My face is super round, too.. haha! i have dark circles under my eyes, and my eyes are small and squinty. But i have cute little freckles on my nose that you can only see if you're right up close.. which i love. and i have a crooked smile, but i like my teeth. :)

Carlee, Little Sloth said...

I love this post and Lauren I think the same way about one side being better and not looking like me on the other side! I am glad I am not the only one who thinks that way.
Almost Endearing

Maria said...

This is the best post you've ever written and I've been reading your blog for quite a while. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not the only one who notices literally everything about her face. Thanks. You're really pretty :)

Love from Portugal,

Sasha said...

This outfit suits you so well! You look incredibly feminine!

Sasha said...

As for the blog post itself... I feel the same way about my body and my face. Today, as I was riding in the bus, a perfect girl came in. So I spet next 20 minutes of my ride comparing myself to her. I was saying to myself, that I do not want to BE her. I want to be myself, with everything I've got...only legs would look better if they were slimmer... and if my hair was as long and full as hers. And maybe, if I were a little bit shorter.
All these thoughts show our insecurities and self-criticism. But after all, all these imperfections make us whole and perfect in our own way.

Kezzie said...

And yet God loves you the way you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

A dear friend of mine, Zoe, she is someone I regard as one of the most attractive and beautiful people I know. One day I told her she had such lovely even features. She looked at me in utter bemusement and said, "But I have a totally wonky face. The midwive commented what a wonky, strange face I had when I was born,". I looked at her again and noticed for the first time that she really did have uneven features- one side of her lips (beautiful lips) goes down and the other is straight. But I didn't notice it ever. I just noticed her combined beauty. And I think it is the same with you.

I wish I could do my hair like that!x

Cindi said...

Lauren I am crazy about this shirt of yours - the butterflyprint is adorable. Why are all the most beautiful things always vintage, so that it's impossible to play the copycat? :)
Great post by the way, you always have interesting views on stuff like this!



Mamalina said...

Lauren, you are beautiful! Picture no. 5= pure perfection! I love it! You are so elegant and classy!




Hannah said...

It's strange....You know what I see? I see light. I see everything I always wanted to be. When I first met you (online, not in person)I saw this beautiful girl with great taste in clothes. Then, after becoming friends, it wasn't the makeup and hair and clothes that made you beautiful. You just were (are). I think that's what love does, it makes everyone and everything beautiful...without having to try. I think that's magical (and knowing you and that hopelessly romantic heart of yours, you probably do too). xHN

Mary said...

You just keep getting prettier and prettier. Lovely outfit on a beautiful girl.

Unknown said...

you look so lovely! Glad to see you back in your woods too!

That skirt is just so amazingly pretty! And I love that romper - I have the same pattern on a dress, so great!


Hanne said...

What a perfect outfit, and I love the text. It's funny how I recognize so many of those things, but thought I was unnormal. You are beautiful, and imperfections make beauty.

jana said...

i LOVE this post. i love how realistic and true it is. and while yes, you're definitely being hard on yourself because it's your face you're writing about, you also mention how you wonder who that girl is, beautiful, classic and sparkling.

i think you're stunning, and when you're having a moment where you feel less than pretty, just smile and see that sparkle in your eye that you love :)

and i also have the same problem with cat-eye liner... i have the HARDEST time making both eyes look equal when they're shaped differently.

Anonymous said...

That is cute about your mole. I have a scar from my mom messing up cutting my bangs one time. . .so it is near my eyebrow and I have a chicken pock scar in between my eyes near the bridge of my nose. I have zit scars. I squint when I smile so I usually don't smile in photos because I also have a calcium mark on one of my teeth. When I was 6 I had already lost my front teeth and my brother knocked out a tooth from bumping into me on the swing. . .so my mom pushed it up into my gum and it healed fast (really strange, but it happened). . which caused my calcium mark, unfortunately. So that is why I rarely show my teeth in photos when I smile. I am going to have major crows' feet by my eyes soon because I am seeing them begin their journey there. It is because I smile A LOT. I have a flat chin. It doesn't stick out at all but I love it that way. All these things i've accepted though and have learned to deal with and I don't mind. I think you are seeing far too many flaws that others don't see. You know what I see in you? Light shining from your eyes because you have been redeemed by Christ. I see smiles on your face that are beautiful. There is a radiance that you have and I love your eyes! It is sad that you would think that people wouldn't love them when I see so much in them!!! Have more confidence! You do have a very lovely nose, so it is not ordinary, for God made it because He thought it would suit you! This outfit is so gorgeous on you! I love it. beautiful!

Unknown said...

Love your outfit, you just keep getting prettier and prettier :)

I know what you mean, i feel insecure when someone who's a lot prettier than me walks next to me or gets on the bus. I always compare myself to them. when i look at the mirror i just see a young girl ( especially when i don't wear make-up, then i look like i'm 14-15 years old when i'm actually almost 20!) I see when i'm having a bad day some zits or redness. i also see a scar just above my eye, that happened when i fell down the stairs on Christmas Eve, i was just 3 years old and had to go to the hospital.

x Audrey
P.s. i'm hosting a OASAP giveaway on my blog, feel free to join.

Unknown said...

Dull brown eyes?!?!? DULL! never my dear they are sparkly and beautiful shade! I love this outfit! the maxi skirt and bun combo!! very very chic!

You have a beautiful face my dear! ahhhh bratz dolls!!! i have a mole too under my left eye!


Teddi said...

i believe one day you will look back at your beauty, and treasure it. loving the hair too lauren.

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