a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Young, But Not Stupid.

White Pants (for sale!): Old Navy.
Gold T-Strap Bow Heels: Plato's Closet.
Straw Fedora, Clutch: Thrifted.
Gold Bangles: Forever21.

I think sometimes people think I'm stupid because I'm young. that I can't see their true intentions, their thoughts they have. I may be young. I may be naive. But I am certainty not stupid.

I have been getting googly eyes from one of the cooks at Cheddar's for a few weeks now. I'd catch him out of the corner of my eye staring at me, giving quick glances my way. He is young, early twenties, sparkling eyes, with a tattoo or two on his arm and a bit of a beard. He makes the crescents and I always see him when I wrap silverware in the kitchen (which is more than often). Every time he brings them up to the front, he tells me' right behind you hun,' in a soft voice. The other day on his break, he came up to me and said, 'how are you doing, Lauren?' I was shocked, he had never talked to me before and I had no idea that he knew my name. I managed to mutter out a fine.

I think my awkwardness and flushed face that I always get when talking to people (because I am a hopeless social failure) he mistaked for a crush. This promoted him in his boldness only further. Every time he walked past me, he gave my shoulder a rub, my back, would touch me gently. I would always flush in embarrassment, which again he probably mistaked for happiness. I have a terrible habit of telling people to stop doing something I don't like, so I just let him continue, feeling as though no harm could be done.

On one occasion, he came by me, stopped and told me, 'ya look good.' At first I didn't understand him. I heard him, but didn't understand. I clumsily asked him, 'w-w-what?' and he repeated it again. Embarrassed, I rushed out of the kitchen and to the host stand.

I didn't understand why this guy was doing this to me. What would prompt him, this rough and tough guy to pick me, a girl who wears bows in her hair and blushes at the slightest word someone says to her. He obviously could tell I'm young, too young for him. For some reason, I got a super creepy vibe from him. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was. Most guys wouldn't be so forward, so 'touchy feely' so quickly. Curious to find out something, I asked the other hostesses if it was just me who felt that something wasn't right with him.

All of the hostessed almost shouted at me in unison that I should stay away from him. That he is notoriously creepy, that he's always hitting on the new girls, and always getting them to sleep with him, and then...not talking to them acting like he never knew them.

I was furious, red with anger and humiliation. That I let him just treat me like I was some prize he could win. That he thought that he could get me in bed like all of the other previous girls. That I was young, new, easy, and stupid.

I don't usually tell people off. I hold my tongue, feeling as though it's easier to just let the other person win and not start anything. I'm not letting this go though. I'm not going to let him think he can just use a girl for sex and then not care. It's not right, and no girl should be treated like that. Maybe it's pride. Maybe it's embarrassment. Maybe it's anger. Tomorrow when I go into work I'm going to give him a piece of my mind.

I may be young, but I'm not stupid.

With much love, Lauren.


Kezzie said...

Urgh! Can't stand that! Just be sure there's someone there when/if you do, don't want any allegations or him being mean to you. Just be careful lovely. x

Emily said...

Haha, you tell him Lauren! He sounds really creepy, I've been in that situation before, and I know exactly how it feels.

Be careful girlie!

Isabella said...

Lauren, it sounds like you reacted really well to such an uncomfortable situation! I think I would have done the exact same thing...
You look so gorgeous, the blouse is perfect on you. Your smile is adorable! xo

Natasha Atkerson said...

I'm sorry! You shouldn't have to deal with that-it's sexual harassment and it's illegal. I agree you need to tell him to back off, but also be careful. Kezzie (commented above) and she's right, take someone with you. If he doesn't stop-tell someone. Your boss even, don't be afraid to let someone know.
I'll be praying for you!
A Modest Fashion Blog:

Anonymous said...

Gosh, how awful! This is just one of those things that every girl has to go through, and you seem to be handling it quite maturely. :) good for you!
And even afer you talk to him about it, if he doesn't stop, you have every right to tell your boss. Don't be afraid if he gets fired, because you will have done the right thing and he deserved it.

Also, WHAT?! Lauren's wearing PANTS? ;) cute outfit!

Midwest Muse said...

GIRRRL, you're not stupid at all! You're very wise and have quite the old soul. You are a rare breed, so embrace it! Own it, tell more people off. Stand up for yourself and wear beautiful little summer outfits!

Angel said...

Yes, tell him off!

Alice, Pretty Confused said...

You weren't being naive at all, and I'm pretty sure a guy with this kind of reputation can tell embarrassment from attraction. I'd say just tell him plain and simply that you aren't interested and you'd appreciate if he would get lost. Hopefully if you use small words he will understand, and if he doesn't stop with the creepiness speak to your boss. You're not paid to put up with harassment from another member of staff.

I really hope this gets sorted for you as soon as possible xo

Hannah said...

Ugh! That's...disturbing. Seriously. No one should make you feel uncomfortable like that (especially not in a work related enviroment). I'm sorry that happened. But on the bright side, you look GORGEOUS in those white pants. Seriously, they look amazing.

Someone disliked one of my videos today *sigh*.

Carlee, Little Sloth said...

He sounds so creepy and awful. You should give him a piece of your mind. You are a tough strong women! I love the outfit by the way.

Unknown said...

Firstly, your outfit is adorable! I love the little butterflies in the pattern of your blouse.

Secondly, that guy is a total ASS. It sounds like he was taking advantage of your shy/friendly nature. You have a right to say NO THAT'S NOT OKAY, if he is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

*hugs* Be strong!

Katie Burry said...

Oh he's lucky I wasn't in your place! I'd have slapped him or at least shouted at him when he touched me. That is completely unacceptable! I'd consider telling a supervisor, too. Touching girls without their consent is so, so wrong. >.<

Also, I love this outfit on you. It's pretty and summery - those shoes are fantastic!!

Alela Sirah said...

I love this outfit!! Those shoes are super cute!!!

Livia Rachelle said...

Oh, oh, the touching part is freaking-that is my immediate clue (or guess or warning) that a guy is objectifying/cheapening me. I haven't had it near as bad as you, but yeah, don't let ANYONE touch you even if you cannot be sure of their motives. We are NOT things to touch; we are people with boundaries. Your story gave me mental chills.

Lauren said...

Do you watch mystery diners? That is like sweet sweet revenge because the hosts go into a restaurant and bust people who are stupid. Haha it's awesome. But that stinks that gross people are like that in real life. Good luck. Slap him for me. ;)

Jana K said...

Whoa...that's terrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You're totally not stupid.
I hope everything turns out alright.


Hannah Meade said...

I adore your shoes! (oh, and tell that creeper off!)

TaNuja said...

Love your top with the butterflies and your heels.

In the starting 3-4 pics I look at your dress, rest I look at your poses and you. :)

Im not a fashion blogger but I like to watch some.

Catch me up at:



Leen said...

OMg, that outfit is the cutest, you look soo good in it.

and yeah he is creepy alright. altough it does pain me that his gig worked before. ugh. what an ass. at least you are not going to fall for it. :)

Celia said...

You're stunning honey. Let us know how the creepo-elimination goes. ;)

katie said...

The sad part about this situation is that's not uncommon! My husband is a sous chef and I asked him a little bit about this situation. He says a lot of cooks at like this around the new waitresses and to be VERY firm with this man that you don't like his attention and if he does not back off, to bring this up with your manager. I feel so bad for you, I've been in situations like this before, (I think most of us have to deal with these creeps at some point.) and while I know it's easy for us all to say, "Tell him to back off!", it can be so scary doing that!
Just keep your chin up, lots of eye contact when you tell him to take a step back. (I blush when I get nervous, so I really understand.) Good luck dear!

On a brighter note, it's so fun to see you in pants again! Those white ones look lovely on you and I love the floatly, girly top. :)

Unknown said...

Love the cool look, you look amazing!

Unknown said...

UGH! Some boys just suck! You go girl! You kick in the butt with those amazing shoes!


Teddi said...

yay! i hope you DO tell his creepy self off, not just for you, but for all the girls he treated poorly. it's guys like him that make men look bad. no they are NOT all like him, but there are a far too many that are. it disgusts me.

Cindi said...

Don't sell those white pants Lauren, you look lovely wearing them ! :)

Did you tell him off then ?



Mihaela said...

You look absolutely beautiful!
And yes, you should say what's on your mind...always!...just be careful how you say it.

Adamcbjc said...

I adore your shoes! (oh, and tell that creeper off!)

Blogger Template by pipdig