a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I'm done. I put my two weeks in today. I can't take it anymore. I can't lose myself again and that's what I feel like I've done. Lost myself. I'm not me anymore. I'm never happy. You know it's time to do something else when you'd rather not wake up in the morning but just drift off into an eternal sleep. It sounds depressing, it sounds extreme, but it's really what I feel. I can't explain the feeling I've had the past few weeks. I try to explain to my parents, to my co workers, to Matt...I can't get the words out. How empty and sad I've felt. How lifeless and hopeless. I fell asleep crying last night, just wanting it all to end. I decided enough was enough today. At the end of my shift I wrote on a piece of paper my last day would be July 29. I just want to be alive again.

They say in life do what makes you happy. I'm going to do just that.

With much love, Lauren.


Katie Selt said...

If it's any consolation, no one at Cheddar's ever looks happy to be there. I get a really stand offish aura when I go there that makes me feel like it's a bad place to work.

No worries! You'll be fine.


Georgia said...

Hope everything gets better soon, the sunlight will shine through eventually.



Unknown said...

I hope everything gets better real fast lauren! You're a sweet girl and only deserve the best :)

XoXo, Taylor

TaNuja said...

M proud of a girl like you.


Carlee, Little Sloth said...

I am sorry girl. But it sounds like you are doing what is right for you and that is all that matters! I am excited to see more outfit post from you and here what has been going on in your life besides work.


Unknown said...

Do what you feel to be the right thing for you and never apologize for it! Happiness is very important you know :-) Praying for you today and sending a little sunshine in your direction! Hope you have a wonderful day Lauren!! Love, Marie

Britney @ Scout and Company said...

Yay! I am so happy for you! You should always do what feels right :) and staying there is just silly!!!
-Britney of Lemonwood and Honey

Anonymous said...

The perils of a hospitality/retail job !! Say good riddance and don´t look back, trust me- best decision you´ve made for yourself. Goodluck! ;)

Celia said...

That's right, honey. Get rid of the clouds so the sun can shine through.

Camille said...

You should get a retail job at a boutique since you love fashion. I think that you would really like that. I hope you find a place where you are happy to work!


Jasmine said...

You are so strong, Lauren! Because the strongest thing you can do, is to take care of yourself first. It sounds like selfishness, but it's not. It's self-love. Good on you!

Teddi said...

hooray! you know what's best for you lauren. :) glad you are honoring yourself.

Jana K said...

I am sorry you have felt so terribly sad. I know things can get tough sometimes. I will be praying for you.


Unknown said...

Hope that your happiness comes back really soon and that you feel better too. :)


Anonymous said...

I think you made the right decision, and I'm sure another opportunity will present itself! Can't wait for another one of your wonderful outfit posts:D

Rachael A. said...

I have been there! Hang in there...at the end of the day you'll come out more confident and knowing more than you did before! Thanks for being real :)

Anonymous said...

oh honey, i know its hard. i know completely how you feel because i went through the very same things as you when i was there. how heart wrenching it all can be. but i know that the important thing is for them to know that they didn't break you. in these last two weeks i want you to walk with all the power and grace i know you are capable of. trust me when i say things will be better for you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lauren,
I recently came across your blog...when I found your post on depression my heart hurt so badly for you...I've asked God to give me the perfect words to say to you,that they will completely comfort and deliver you without the use of medication or therapy.
God is the great physician and He has the power to heal your heart!

Psalms 22:24 For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.

Be comforted...He has heard your cries.

Psalms 56:8 You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?

John 27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

And one more to show the breathtaking love God has for you.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Isn't that beautiful Lauren? God loves you so dearly, He wants you to be free and no amount of medication or therapy will amount to what God can and will do for you.

You also mentioned something about God being the one who is putting you through this...if you want Him to help you, you had better get one thing straight...God loves you completely, God so loved the World (that means you) that He GAVE His only begotten Son. Do you think that someone who loves you this much would put you through hell?

Luke 12: 6 "But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered."

How can He deliver you if you believe He puts you through this?

Lauren, don't let Satan ruin a beautiful life with his lies...fill your heart and mind with the Word...it is powerful and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing asunder the soul and spirit,it is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. It is the most powerful and true thing in the world...it will conquer.

Psalms is a beautiful book of the Bible to comfort you. Read the Word every day hold it in your heart and when you are hit with a "your not good enough" thought, rebuke it and come back with a scripture...it will crush the Devil's attacks and lift you higher because you know nothing will stand against the truth of what God says you are!! Also if you are born again of God's Spirit you can cast the thoughts out with the Name of Jesus Christ. At the name of Jesus EVERY knee shall bow.

I implore you to read this and hold the verses in your heart every day...the attacks will stop...remember it is a spiritual battle and the battlegrounds are in the mind, if you fill it with God's truth the untrue thoughts wont have room any longer!

If there is anything that you would like to ask I will do my best to answer. You can respond to this comment here and I'll check often to see yours.

I believe you can conquer this quickly Lauren!!!
"If God be for us who can be against us?"

With much love and many prayers,
A daughter of God.

Anonymous said...

By the way if you do wish to respond, you can call me Jean.
The girl who posted about the Word.

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