a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Monday, June 11, 2012

First Impressions.

Floral Blouse: Forever21.
Red Skirt (for sale!), White Flats, Fedora Hat: Thrifted.
Basket Weave Clutch: Plato's Closet.

It's been a rough day for me. I feel like I used to, like I've relapsed into previous insecurities. I'm so bad at first impressions. I stutter, I don't know what to say, I make an utter fool out of myself with every syllable that comes out of my mouth. It's not really the bad first impression that bothers me. It's more of the thoughts that plague me afterwards. The regrets, the 'what if's', the i-wish-i-had-done-better. I don't understand what's so hard for me. Why I can't do this. I have so many beautiful, potential friendships that I ruin because I simply can't talk. There's a reason I blog and not make youtube videos. I can sit and think about what I want to write, take my time, let my fingers do the talking instead of my lips....as soon as I open them, it's a disaster.

I'm worried. I'm worried about what's going to happen when I go to Kent. Where every meeting I have with someone is a first impression. And the one I'm most worried about? My roommate. She's so perfect, the friend I've always wanted. I'm just so scared of screwing things up with her and making her dislike me. I feel like it's what I've done with all of my previous relationships. I need this to work out. I need to focus and be myself. Not the bumbling idiot I am 99% of the time.

This Friday I'm going to Kent for my orientation. I'll be there all day, spending the night, and staying half the next day. There will be lots of first impressions that day. I'll tell you how it goes...

With much love, Lauren


Hannah said...

Well, if it means anything, I think you made a beautiful 'first impression' with me, tonight. You are just as amazing, brillant and beautiful as you came across in text. I have faith you'll be just as great at University. I just hope you weren't too disappointed with me! This outfit is gorgeous, by the way, AND I GOT TO SEE YOU IN IT. <3

Unknown said...

You will be fine dear, just relax and be yourself. Anyone who doesn't accept who you really are doesn't deserve to be in your life and get to know the wonderful person that you are truly are! :)


Midwest Muse said...

LAUREN! You are crazy! When I met you, I was instantly in love with your sweetness and your manners. You're just like your blog, only better. All of us Akron girls can't even stop talking about how excited we are to have you at Kent and have the ability (we hope) to see you more often. You are unlike most girls and I think anyone who meets you can tell right away, and I mean that in a good way! Also you are beautiful in red.

Lauren said...

When I went to visit my college, my boyfriend made me repeat this saying: Be Confident. I seriously thought that to myself the entire time. Everyone else going to college is nervous and just wants to make friends--they're all in the same boat as you. So don't worry, be confident. You'll do great. :)

L. said...

Don't worry Lauren, being nervous about meeting people and screwing up socially is such a common fear- I feel that way all the time! Just remember all the support that you have behind you, and recognize that the anxiety belongs to you, not the other way around. You can choose to be scared and nervous, and therefore screw up more and miss out on so many positive opportunities, or you can choose to be happy and learn from every experience you'll be open and ready to be a part of! That always helps me, to tell myself that the power is in my hands and I'm in control of the way I feel.
Looking beautiful as always!
<3, L.

Ellie Balangue said...

I do understand with what you've meant about first impression, same dilemma actually, but by just going over your blog posts by reading them I already build this impression on you, that you are as lovely as what you post and what you wear. And I know you're such a good friend with the people around you.

I hope everything goes well on that day.


bethy said...

I think when people see your beautiful face and smile that will be the best first impression.

Mihaela said...

I believe your roommate already likes you, so you shouldn't worry about first impressions. I personally love beginnings and I think you should enjoy this feeling of starting an exciting phase of your life. Have fun on Friday! :)

Leen said...


I know what you're talking about, I have the exact same fear, and probably lots of people have this fear. but truth be told, if I was to meet such a wonderfull person as you, dressed as great as you do, with the smile you always have on your pictures, I would be even more afraid, because you are absolutely the person i would want to be impressed.

Long story short, even though you're dying of fear, the other person probably has the same fear too. just jump in the deep end, and try to enjoy the people you meet.

I hope everything goes along great for you.


Zane said...

You look gorgeous here, love the red color on you

Alice, Pretty Confused said...

I can totally relate to this worry, I'm still a bit awkward and shy and I worry that I sometimes come across as a bit cold/distant when first meeting people but generally after a couple of minutes I feel a lot better. Make sure you wear something you feel beautiful and confident in, we all know how much a difference it makes, and just be yourself. Even if you are a bit awkward on a first meeting you have all summer to get to know your room mate better (maybe you could start writing to each other or something so you know what you will find it easy to talk about) and remember, everyone is in the same situation as you! Everyone there will be terrified, it doesn't matter if you were the most popular girl in school or a complete nobody, college is a fresh slate to be whoever you want to be. And just so you know, you are pretty awesome just as you are. Good luck xo

Sampada said...

Lauren, I know exactly how you feel about first impressions. Saying the right things is so hard...especially when one is not well versed in the art of conversation...verbally. But don't be so critical of yourself. It's hard, I know, to try and not mess up...but if you think so much about that, you'll get even more nervous and say things you don't mean and feel bad. That said, I hope your orientation goes very well. Take it from me, a completely socially awkward girl, that orientation can be a lot of fun. You make friends there that you will remember for the rest of your college career, since they're the first people you meet and get to know.

On another note, I love the sweetness of this outfit. It has that summery feeling of enjoying toast with strawberry jam with some raspberry iced tea on the side. Hehe.


Laura Jones said...

such a pretty outfit, i love the lipstick! and i'm sure you'll do fine, don't worry! :) x

Jana K said...

Oh I know how you feel. I seem to be so awkward around people all of the time, I do much better at communicating if I write things rather than say them.
But don't worry, Lauren you are so sweet and unique I'm sure you'll be fine.

Cute skirt! I like that color on you.


marcia said...

oh I love the outfit. its beautiful... and I stink at first impressions too. I hate meeting new people and I am always so awkward I hate trying to make conversation. Well, I hope your first impressions go well. I'm sure they will, because seriously you are one of the sweetest girls on blogger. :)

marcia said...

oh I love the outfit. its beautiful... and I stink at first impressions too. I hate meeting new people and I am always so awkward I hate trying to make conversation. Well, I hope your first impressions go well. I'm sure they will, because seriously you are one of the sweetest girls on blogger. :)

Sian Thomas said...

Just try not to worry about it!! I think the problem is overthinking it, do your best not to think about it until you're actually there and in the moment. Sounds weird and difficult but it works!! I've had a few interviews recently and I used to get super nervous, but for these I didn't even think about them until I was there (I was too busy to even consider thinking about them though!) and ended up feeling a lot better about them.
Anyway, I'm sure no one could fail to like you when they meet you =) Even you do stutter or get confused with what you're saying, everyone does and you're all in the same boat, everyone is trying to make a good first impression.
Also, I adore your outfit! That red skirt is so cute and looks so lovely with the hat and bag =)

Stephanie said...

Honestly... you are a rare breed in the sense that your probably an amazing listener... and I know that I have a mouth that will yap on for days... You will be a treasured friend to those who you do make friends with and you will... My first year in college my roommate didn't necessarily have much to talk about but we got a long great and had the BEST time hanging out because we enjoyed a lot of the same things together... Like every Friday night we would go to Blockbuster, rent a bunch of movies, go to the grocery store and pick out ingredients for a meal we would make and a nice bottle of sparkling cider :) and we would cook and watch movies all of Friday and some of Saturday... we didn't have to talk but just being together, we bonded... Take your roommate shopping to a thrift store... just do activities together that you both enjoy and it will definitely take the pressure off, cause you'll be focused less on conversations and more on the activity :)

You'll be fine though :) Pinky Promise

Kezzie said...

I worry about the same things! I saw such stupid things about people! But I have to say, the type of people that will be friends, long-lasting friends, are those who see past shyness and nervousness, because they have a kind heart and want to see the good, they are discerning. So anyone that doesn't see past that probably wouldn't prove a good friend or one you'd want to pursue anyway!
You'll be fine! xx

Anonymous said...

I think so many people have that feeling.. I know I do. Lauren, you are such a sweet, inspiring girl, and I am confident that other people will see it in you right away! First impressions don't always depend only on words, but it can also come from a listening ear or a sweet smile -which you definitely have!
<3 <3 <3

Britney @ Scout and Company said...

Oh goodluck!! It sounds like so much fun staying there the night!! Hmm You must already be there!!
But seriously you are incredible!! And I am sure (100%) that you will make friends! I am incredibly socially awkward - its no joke. And often the people I really want to get along with scare me so so much! I can't get what I want to say out so I just ignore them and pretend they aren't there. Which is really silly because then people think I'm snobby and up myself and too cool for them. In reality its the other way. I'm not too cool. I think they are too cool for me!! But that's not true!! I think I have fear of people. No. I do have a fear of people. And that is something I am going to work on over this mid semester break!!!
You, Lauren are incredible!! You truly are. And first days are scary! But you should just go there and challenge yourself to say hi to at least one person. Everyone wants to make friends on the first day!! So everyone is in the same boat!
As for your room mate! I think she already like you!! I mean she sent you a cute little graduation present. And over the summer you girlies should get to know each other. Go out for icecream of something!! Thats really cute!!!
You will be amazing at college! You will!!
-Britney of Lemonwood and Honey

Emily said...

You'll do fine Lauren, I promise you. Everyone has those moments, and I mean everyone! People will understand. I've heard that college kids are way more mature than high school kids, and I'm sure your roomate will understand. She's probably a bit nervous too!

Have fun at your orientation!

Unknown said...

You'll be fine. Don't worry so much and everything will be a lot easier. I'm a worrier too, but I try not to overthink my interactions with other people. Not everyone will want to be your friend and that's just the way life is. There'll be plenty of people who want to get to know the real you!

Also, I would definitely wear this outfit. It's gorgeous! I love your pretty blouse paired with that bright red skirt.

Unknown said...

Very pretty outfit, the shirt matches so nicely with the skirt! Love it!

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