a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Wednesday on a Thursday.

Lace Dress (worn as a shirt): Forever21.
Skirt: c/o OASAP.
T-Strap Wedges: Thrifted.
Beret: Target.
Cat Watch: Gift from Erin.
Lipstick: Combination of MAC's Rebel and Revlon's Wine With Everything.

I'm sure some of you probably wonder what ever happened to Matt. How I could go on a posting rampage about him for a good 8 months and then just not post about him at all. It came to a point where I felt like it wasn't my place to talk about him any more on here--it didn't benefit me and it didn't benefit the people around me involved in the situation. It wasn't that my problems with it really went away, but I expressed them in a different manner and different place. I cringe to look back on those posts from this time last year because they're painful, they're raw. I don't read them because I don't want to remember feeling that way again. It's not that I regret writing all of those posts, but I wouldn't do it again. I appreciate that I documented those feelings because it was a pivotal part of my life where a lot changed. I was also able to help other girls going through a similar situation, which made it really worth it.

Since I dragged you all through that time in my life, I only find it fair to not just leave you hanging and not keep you updated on things that continue in my life. Matt and I are in a good place now. It was my new years resolution to forgive him and I truly feel like I have. It's an ease that's not like, "okay, I'm going to forgive you because I want to and need to." It's more of just something that happens with time, apologies, praying, and thinking. We talk from time to time and that works out fine for me. It's not this tense, hatred filled relationship and for that I'm grateful. If he's happy, I'm happy. I will always love him as a person and wish him well in his life. You can't not wish someone happiness who you love and who you've known for such a long time. Does that mean I want him very involved in my life? No. But it's nice to see him and catch up occasionally and feel a good peace with where we are in regards with our relationship with each other.

Break ups are hard. They are a life changing, world shifting moment in your life. But when all of the fiery flames of rage and sadness clear, you can look back and appreciate that time and what you went through. I know it changed my life for the better. Not necessarily having him out of my life made it better, but it made me become a better version of myself.

Just thought I'd give you all a little update and reflection on it since I don't talk about it anymore! It doesn't mean it's not an important, active part of my life. It's just something I've learned I need to keep a little bit more quiet about until the time is right to speak about it. x

With much love, Lauren.


Jess said...

This is one of my favourite outfits of yours yet! I love the lip colour too!
I'm glad you've found peace with him, I know it's hard because I've been through the same sort of thing and a positive relationship afterwards is always better than one filled with anger and hate.
Jess from http://theadorabledork.blogspot.co.uk

Unknown said...

Finally bought this skirt...you've convinced me! :)

Unknown said...

Love your outfit, you look very cute!!! I'm always jealous of your lipsticks, you have the greatest colours :)

I'm glad you're at peace with him, break-ups aren't the easiest thing in the world. But i think you're doing a great job and i really like that you don't talk dirty about him. But you're such a lady, you would never do that :)

x Audrey

Ruby Sterland said...

Love your outfit, especially the lace top! Gorgeous x


Anonymous said...

It's nice to know that you found space in your heart to forgive him. You are such a strong and beautiful lady!

Xo, Hannah


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