a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tossed Aside.

Plaid Skirt, Navy Sweater, Black Boots: Thrifted.
Red Circle Scarf: Target.

Hello everyone!
So as I somewhat alluded in yesterday's post I've been feeling somewhat down as of late. I guess you could say the cause of all of my frustration is my current roommate searching. It's been a few weeks since I applied for housing and signed up for the roommate match/search site. So far I haven't really had anyone show any interest in me which is upsetting. Ever since I was a little girl and knew what college was, I always dreamed of having this perfect roommate who was exactly like me... We would get along perfectly, be best friends, and she would be the maid of honor at my wedding. So corny and typical, right? Well, my search for finding the perfect roommate just isn't going so hot. I look through hundreds and hundreds of girls everyday only to be disappointed in not finding anyone like myself. After reading bio after bio of the typical, ordinary college girl I wonder if I'll ever find the dream roommate I long for. The other day I was extremely excited because a girl messaged me saying that she loved blogging and vintage fashion, as well. All of my dreams and hopes came rushing at me at once and I couldn't help but think, 'is she the one?' Unfortunately after messaging back a few times she implied that she drank a little- a complete off limits habit for me with my OCD. I kindly told her that I was 100% straight edge with all substances, and haven't heard back from her since.

I know I shouldn't be disappointed in this first failed attempt for a roommate, but I just can't help it. I'm such a sensitive person and I feel hurt that nobody wants me. Even though things obviously wouldn't have worked out between me and the girl and it's not meant to be, I feel sad to the fact that just another person can toss me aside and move on. Most of the past friends/people in my life have done just that, toss me aside, and it hurts every time it happens again even if it's about something as silly as a potential roommate.

I've only just started searching for a roommate and I have until July to find one so I know I shouldn't feel so discouraged just yet. It's just hard to keep hope alive sometimes when you have such big dreams and wishes for something that you find important.

Do you all have any good/bad experiences with finding roommates or your current roommates? I'd love to hear your stories!

With much love, Lauren.


Shady Del Knight said...

Every roommate I ever had was an utter disaster, Lauren. That includes a few that I had later during my bachelor years. It's really hard when you don't think like the crowd or go along with its agenda. Be patient. Make it your goal to find someone who shares most of your interests and values. At some point you need to compromise, not your own standards, but the standards to which you hold others. A 100% perfect match doesn't exist in this world whether you're searching for a roommate, a boyfriend, a husband, a college, a job or anything else.

Sian Thomas said...

Lauren, I would so be your perfect roommate!! If only I was going to college with you =) As I've told you before I also have that same phobia of being/feeling sick, and it has developed into a phobia of alcohol over the last couple of years, meaning that if I drink it will never ever be more than half a glass of wine anymore, and I get really scared around people being drunk.
Don't worry though, I'm sure you'll find someone out there who'll be just fine for you!! And if you don't find the perfect one, it's only for a year, right? You don't have to spend your time with her anyway, you just have to sleep in the same room =)

Jul said...

Girl, you have to understand that you're unique and beautiful and no one else is like you. It's extremely hard to find someone like you (yes, your blog title, hehe), because you're like a rose in the middle of the desert. And because you're that beautiful, I'm sure you'll find someone that's interested in sharing her life with you, someone lovely and sweet. So don't worry so much :)
Oh by the way you look super cute here!
Life is a romantic poem

Kezzie said...

I don't have a phobia but I really really really don't like people being s (I wont say it!) and I don't drink so tis a pity me 12 years ago isn't there! Don't worry lovely, it will work out. Don't take it personally, it's not to do with you, the girl probably didn't want to harm you in any way. But I will pray!x

jennifer said...

Aw you'll find a roommate soon enough. Finding one who is a little different from you can be good though - it might help you discover new things that you didn't know you enjoy! I didn't live in dorms in college though, so I'm not sure what other advice to give.

xo Jennifer


niknok said...

Oh so pretty! xx

The Niknok Style

Sampada said...

One of my very close friends and I chose to room with each other, and so we put each other's name down on the application. When I found out that we did get paired, I was so excited, because we were so alike...or so I thought. The thing is, we have our differences, and we even had a couple big disagreements, but we're still ok and we learned to cooperate with each other. I know that you feel upset that you haven't heard yet and I'm not going to say the usual, it will get better (although it will..hmm, I guess I just said it), but I think you should try to look at this process with a different perspective. Think of that first attempt as the other girl missing out on getting to know a great girl like you...also, think of this as an adventure, and stay positive :)


Rachael said...

Lauren, keep those high standards. There ARE other girls out there like you. I had really high standards, and I found my roommates by being in the right network of people. Though I will say...having roommates can be a challenge, a lot like having siblings! -Rachael

Anonymous said...

My freshman year roommate was a nightmare. I too had an extensive questionnaire, which I did diligently. I didn't get to choose my own roomie but was supposedly matched up with one that was compatible with my likes and dislikes. We talked on the phone a few times prior to moving in together and everything seemed cool. I was looking forward to having an awesome roomie who shared all of my likes and dislikes and maybe even my closet (she had asked me what size I was and seemed excited when I told her... which in retrospect was incredibly odd).

It was not to be. When I met her face-to-face she was a train wreck. I'm a very neat and clean person, and my appearance reflects that. She was not. She was also like 4 sizes bigger than I and STILL borrowed my clothing with out asking. She made food in our room and left it to rot, and made friends with strange, OLDER men and invited them to our room for extended weekends (one guy stayed for nearly a month). It was a nightmare.

You're good to be picky. Don't back down from picky.

Katie Burry said...

I'm sorry. That sounds hard, but don't get too discouraged. I'm sure you'll find a great flat mate! :) (I like to use the British term for a room mate instead of the American term. *winks*)

I like this outfit on you lots. That skirt is super cute, and that red scarf is amazing!! <3

Jess said...

I've had a total of 6 different roommates. Thing is, I don't drink. At all. I also don't party and am not cool about boys sleeping over, lol. Now going off to college it's nearly impossible to find someone who will adhere to all of that. It's rare 18 yr old behavior haha. But all I asked my roommates was to not do that stuff in my room. We set boundaries, together. And though I was never BFFs with any of them, we got along really well! Sometimes it's better to not be best friends. That can be disastrous. Also, it assures that you can have quiet time when you want!

Maybe you could focus on finding a calm kind of girl who likes writing or fashion, but also other different things. Narrow it down first by finding girls who don't drink and party. Rare but existent! And I think that as long as someone shares your fundamental values, all the things you don't have in common could be fun! Just pray about it, girl! :) It's still early, maybe there's more girls you've yet to meet!

Anonymous said...

I dont have any experience with a college roomate, but I do have a roommate story I thought might cheer you up, seeing as it was a real instance of God's love in my life. One year, I applied to a summer program, and it was held several states away from home which was a little scary, not being with my family for several weeks. But a few people I knew got in too and so I thought I was safe in regard to roommates, I could just request all the people I knew and I was bound to get one of them! Well I get my information, and the roommate I got was a complete stranger. I had no idea what to expect. So my family and I prayed that she would be a girl like minded to me. When I got there and spent a few days with my roommate, I couldn't believe how much God had blessed me! My roommate was everything like me. Homeschooled, Christian, modest... The list went on... We were practically identical in everything! She had even worried and prayed about this same situation and had the same reaction! Anyway, long story short, we left that program best friends. God is so good. I'll pray for you to find the perfect roommate! And I'm sure God will provide for you, even in His unexpected ways. God bless you!

Anonymous said...

Actually, I'm a bit insecure about privacy even as an anonymous commenter... After you read the comment I posted above could you please delete it? Thanks! Sorry for the trouble!

Charmaine said...

Aw, I am really sorry to hear you're feeling down about the roommate situation. Is it possible for you to find someone with your same beliefs? While you may not find someone who loves vintage, et cetera, having someone who thinks and feels about your values in the same way as you, as well as has the same living habits is SO much more important in the long run in terms of you feeling confident and comfortable. Honestly, roommates can be a total crap-shoot, it's not you, it's just the general milieu of people. I bet as soon as you get to university you will have an incredible time. Don't get wrapped up in the way you think things "should" be, if you just let the cards fall as they will you will be pleasantly surprised! I guarantee it :). I can also relate to your feelings of being left behind. High school is a weird time for most, I bet when you get to college you will totally come into your own and become even lovelier than you are now :). Chin up, butter cup! Don't let negative feelings cramp your style.

Unknown said...

My heart goes out to you Lauren! That is certainly a tough situation and I'll pray that you will get the PERFECT roommate for you. :) :) Don't lose all hope yet, you still have time! :)

Unknown said...

PS I love your plaid skirt!

H said...

if i was in college, i would be honoured to be your roommate...lol <3 dont let it get you down...

just because something isnt happening now, doesnt mean it'll never happen <3

Zane said...

wonderful colors on you, dear

Anonymous said...

pffff don't be like that!!! i'm not the most charismatic person...not even so funny or extrovert ...but i got truly lovely friends!! two of this friends love me a lot!!! and i don't even know why xD!!! and a lot of persons in my class ignore me, hate me or doesn't care about me...but they always stay by me side...and make me feel happy and beloved :)!! if a person like me, with a lot of defects and bad character, can find friends like that!! clearly you can find a lovely roommate!!! maybe not one that likes what you like!! but one of course that will love you and care about you!! :D YOU CAN FIND A GREAT ROOMATE!! YOU CAN DO IT GURLL!! SO DON'T BE SAD!! ;)

Gina said...

Last year when I was searching for roommates, it seemed like everyone was very different from me. But then I started finding some other people. We did our roommate searches on Facebook, and one day a random girl messaged me and asked to be roommates. We both gave each other a survey about ourselves and we sounded really similar with our major, what we liked to do for fun, and our stance on substances. We chose each other, but I wish I did some more looking around or did random instead of going with the first person who asked. We are very similar now and also very different, and sometimes being too similar is a problem. I'm not really liking my roommate situation right now because we've gotten too close and now I'm starting to need some space.

So I know this process can be hard, but I would keep up the search. Find someone you can truly talk to and have a conversation with. Also, I wouldn't pick someone that sounds exactly like you, because sometimes you get along better that way.

I wish you all the luck, and most of the time roommates work out! But make sure to also make friends in all types of places in college. Because most likely your second year roommate won't be your first (at least that's what it's like at my school).

I hope everything goes well over the next few months!

xo, gina

katie said...

Everyone has given really good advice so far. The biggest thing I learned from having roomates is find someone who has similar living habits as you, such a neatness, sleep habits(An early riser and a night owl do not mix well as I have learned!) but one of the biggest is honesty. You don't want a room mate who's going to steal from you, wether it be food, clothes or money. One trick I learned was finding who had a job, most college kids who have jobs tend to take it seriously and don't look at it as a four-year-party.
No matter what, I'm sure you'll find a lovely room-mate who'll be overjoyed to find such a sweet girl like you. :)

After all that, I love this plaid skirt, you look adorable! And I'm kinda crazy over this wood deck, it has such fantastic character. Good luck with your roomie hunt!

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