a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Your Innocence is Brilliant.






Floral Dress, Nude Oxfords: Forever21.
Taupe Purse, Straw Fedora: Thrifted.

Innocence. I think innocence is something that today's society lacks. Perhaps some would say this is too heavy of a subject for a 'fashion blog,' but it's always been something I've found extremely important. To keep my innocence.

When I first learned about sex in the seventh grade, our health teacher passed out little cards that looked like credit cards to the whole class. He told us they were abstinence cards. He had us sign them, and by signing the cards we were pledging that we would save ourselves until marriage, then that night we could 'cash in' our 'credit card.' Everyone in the class signed the cards. Some begrudgingly, others making fun of it, and then a few of us actually took it seriously. I was one of those few.

A typical day at my school goes something like this. It's Monday morning. I sit in my classroom waiting for the bell to ring to start class. I take out my pencils and usually take out my homework to have it ready. My classmates usually gather around one of the more popular kid's desks and have a little... you could say chat about their weekend adventures. How drunk they were that they woke up and didn't know where they were. How someone threw up all over the bathroom. Jane hooked up with Jack, who hooked up with Suzie and Billy...at the same time. The cops busted the party. How they lost their virginity to someone I can't remember: and that's something be be proud of. All of this makes my stomach turn with disgust at my classmates.

When did virginity become such an awful word? When did it gain a negative connotation to thatmakes teenagers avoid it like the plague? Every year kids younger and younger lose their virginity. In my school district as young as the sixth grade. These kids lose it to unimportant people who use them, abuse them, and take advantage of them. The moment isn't special and magical like it should be. The moment isn't with their husband or wife. It's with some joe smoe, and the next joe smoe is just the next one waiting in line.

I will up front tell anyone who asks that I am a virgin. And a proud one at that. I've dated my boyfriend for four years and we haven't had sex. And yet, they are cases where teenagers have sex without even dating the person. Sometimes without even knowing their name. I want the night I give myself away to be special. To be a beautiful gift to my husband as it should be.

It shouldn't be about lust. It shouldn't be about temptation. It shouldn't be about hiding the moment in case someone finds out. It should be giving your whole self to that other person in front of God.

My innocence is one of the most precious things to me. I've watched so many of my friends, classmates, and people I know give that precious gift away. Some without even any regret at all. I wish other people my age could see how special it is. That it's not just something to throw away. Because once you give yourself away, you can never get it back.
With much love, Lauren.


Unknown said...

I know exactly how you feel! My weekends include watching old movies alone or with a close friend or running a Cross country race..I focus more on myself, my god, and My studies then Partying. Every Monday i hear the same stories..and not just from peers but from teens younger than me..talking about how they just gave it to someone who didn't care..and now they just do it with anybody and everybody..Highschool is extremely hard..I am still a Virgin as well, there are some moments when im ashamed or feel like a "loser" because i am..so outta place with my class mates..But in the end i realize im still a light for god..he is thankful for me, for keeping myself pure, and innocent.

Sara said...

I totally understand you! im actually afraid of losing my innocence at such a young age because im going to change and not be the same person i was. plus thats what makes me different from everyone else. thats what makes us special :) love the outfit btw!


Jo - Lost in the Haze said...

Your dress is such a gorgeous print! <3 I love the cute bag too!

Lost in the Haze

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with everything you've said - completely and utterly.

Stacey Kay said...

Cute outfit girl! I love your style. Great post.

Stacey Kay
“Runway Inspiration, Vintage Decoration”
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The Mad Twins said...

You look so stunning in that outfit. I love the dress very much :D

Nikki | The Ginger Diaries said...

this dress is adorbale :) love the little straw hat too ^^ x

Ann Louise said...

You are so amazing! Thank you so much for posting this beautiful post! Your words are so wonderful! God is amazing, isn't he? Pleasing Him is all that matters. :)


Vanessa, Take only Memories said...

You look so beautiful! I love your dress!
And I think it's great of you to be so open about your sex life! You should wait until it's right for you :)

yiqin; said...

that dress is awesome on you :)

leah jean said...

SO PROUD OF YOU. this is awesome. i'm a proud virgin as well and plan to be until my wedding night. woohoo! haha but seriously. standards like that are hard to set and even harder to keep sometimes, but they're so, so worth it. :)

Rebecca said...

i really think it's up to the individual, and depends a lot upon personal preference. obviously, i agree that to lose one's virginity in a drunken haze is not the best scenario, it should be with someone you love. just other people have different priorities (some of them i cannot fathom), which they're welcome to, even if i disagree.

Kezzie said...

I agree with you too Lauren. Of course, we have free-will and it is a choice we have been given the opportunity to make. A lot of will power is required but I believe it is worth it for many reasons!

Helena said...

such a sweet outfit!

Amber Schmidt said...

Let's be penpals and write, because we are kindred souls.

Emily said...

Thank you.

I agree with you 500%. It takes a lot of guts to say what you just did without making excuses or apologies for it. Innocence is so very important, especially in a world where it's scorned as "naive" or "prudish." Obedience to God always has to come first, though today's selfish society will insist otherwise.

I'm so proud of you for standing up for values! You're an inspiration inside and out. :)

Margaret said...

This dress is absolutely adorable. You look like the perfect vintage doll!

And thank you for being 100% spot on in this post. I value my purity, my innocence, and my virginity with high regard since it was a gift from God. In some ways, I want to keep it that way forever.

I didn't know what "sex" really was until 10th grade when I read an extremely disturbing article by accident. In 7th grade, my friends were gossiping how this one girl said that she was no longer a virgin and I thought that being no longer a virgin had something to do with the Virgin Mary and that you were no longer a Christian. Yeah. lol.

Miranda said...

Hats off to you for, once again, saying exactly what needs to be said!
Your relationship with Matt proves that teenagers CAN have moral values and CAN control themselves. I think society constantly screams at teens: "No, you can't wait. You can't control yourself."
Thank you for proving them wrong. And thank you for not being afraid to show exactly how you feel on the subject. As I've said before, you really are a great writer and wonderful person :)

Maria Elyse said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes! You always write straight to the point, and you do it wonderfully. I totally agree with you and am on the same page. I love what you said here: "It shouldn't be about lust. It shouldn't be about temptation. It shouldn't be about hiding the moment in case someone finds out. It should be giving your whole self to that other person in front of God." Especially the last sentence...everything we do should start with, and come back around, to Him. Beautiful post, Lauren. Thank you!

Maria Elyse
First Impressions
Flying Ships Vintage

Unknown said...

I know this is an old post, but I clicked on the link from your last post with all the writings listed. :-)

Innocence is so special, so precious. I wish more people viewed it like you do! I too, stayed a virgin until I was married. It is something I'm so glad I decided to do and if I lived my life over again I'd do the same. Thank you for this post and thank you for the positive message you are sending out!!

Marie :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey Lauren,
i really, really like your blog. I'm from Germany and most things here are a bit different to your world.
I hope God will give you the possibility to accept everyone, even the one's who are not like you. I lost virginity at 15, with my back then very beloved boyfriend. I had many guys since then, but I did never feel i was any wrong. I'm working as a callgirl to finance my studies and i won't hate myself for it. I like my way of life and i believe that God has his plan for everyone of us.

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