a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Friday, May 2, 2014


Swiss Dot Dress: TJ Maxx.
Lavender Cardigan, Black Scalloped Heels: Thrifted.
Black Beret: AA.
Bow Belt: Aeropostale.

I took these photos yesterday and was going to post them last night, but I just really upset and didn't even want to look at them. I was on campus taking these by a group of ten or so guys doing some sort of science experiment. I was just taking pictures and doing my thing when I heard one of the guys say, "awh look guys, she's taking selfies in the flowers," and then they all proceeded to laugh. At first I couldn't believe it actually happened and then I was just filled with so much anger and felt so embarrassed. And then I got even angrier because I allowed myself to let me feel embarrassed. I didn't stand up for myself, I didn't tell them I did not appreciate being demeaned and made into being some silly little girl taking frivolous pictures. I just kept going about my business but I got more and more upset and eventually just left to go back to my dorm and take a nap because I wanted to forget about it.

It's probably not a big deal to most of you, but I just get sick of it. I'm always getting harassed, always getting made fun of for taking these photos. I just wish people could respect me and what I do. I have respect for other hobbies. I could have told those guys I thought their science experiment was dumb and pointless, but why would I want to make someone feel bad about something they're passionate about? Why would I want to make them feel like they're less than me? I just don't know why I can't get that in return. I don't feel like someone taking pictures is the weirdest thing in the world...I wish instead of judging me and being rude, people could just have an open mind and see that others have different passions than themselves.

I'm just sad I guess and it makes me really upset. I don't know why and I probably overreacted, but I'm just sick of being disrespected like that all the time for what I do for this blog. 

With much love, Lauren.


Staci said...

Wow, Lauren that is awful.
It is definitely easier said that done to ignore things like that! Just always think of the source of where things like that are coming from. Keep in mind, the handful of people at your school that make fun, are nothing in comparison to all of the thouuuusands upon thousands of readers that you got :)))) We love you!

Creme de la Chic said...

I'm sorry that happened to you, Lauren :/ There are some people that are just downright rude that aren't understanding. It's important not to let those kinds of people ruin your day or infect your passion in any way. You did the right thing not to try and demean them as well. I for one think you're absolutely amazing and you're such an inspiring blogger! They're probably just jealous you're really good at what you do and love :)
You look absolutely stunning! Just keep smiling and forget them!:) After all, just like your quote on your banner "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" xx

Hope you're having a lovely Friday!xx

♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ Creme de la Chic ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡

JGO said...

Dear Lauren,
Obviously those guys really liked you, why else would one of them say something like that to you. You are in a dress and looking very, very pretty, so from my perspective those guys were really into you....


Ashleigh said...

I know how you feel, Lauren. I been treated that way about things I'm passionate about as well. The thing that I have to keep telling myself is that they don't understand what it feels like to be me and like what I like. They just see things from their perspective. Never give up on what you love. You keep taking pictures and blogging. You blog is one of my favorites and I would really miss it if you stopped blogging. You're beautiful and strong and you are very talented. Keep up the good work!

SB said...

Ah Lauren I'm so sorry to read how much the silly comments affected you, sometimes people don't realize how much their words and actions affect other people. I've had that happen before I was once out for a walk in a place I love and a group of three people (teenagers I think) made a comment they said I looked like Jesus! It was a weird insult and it was years ago now but for some reason it is still crystal clear in my mind today even down to what I was wearing! Now the person who made the comment will have moved on and will not even remember but for some reason it really struck me and upset me. It also really affected me as I didn't like going out for walks on my own for a while afterwards as it wasn't the first time or the last where people have made snarky remarks to me, I must be an easy target.

It is sad but some people bring others down to make themselves feel better.

I think a lot of people see 'selfies' as something that has no art or thought behind it and that in a way it is self indulgent and I must confess I thought like that to until a read a post but The Clothes Horse (sorry I don't have the post to hand) and I came to understand that selfies are just another form of art well sometimes I don't think some of them are but what you and other bloggers do I believe is a form of self expression and art in photographic form. The difficulty is and I think this is true for many artists is that art is very emotive you put a lot of yourself out there and there are plenty of people who will criticize your work but that work whether it be a blog picture or a painted portrait is an extension and an expression of the person who made it and I think people forget that.

Ah I'm rambling again I guess at the end of it all I am trying to say is I know how much comments can hurt believe me and I also know how the throw away comments of others can take away the enjoyment of things that give you pleasure whether that be for you your blog or for me solitary walks, but please don't let them stop you from doing what you love. There will always be people who judge you whether that is someone in the street who doesn't like your make-up/hair style/clothes but there will also always be people out there who like and appreciate what others don't. Your blog for example there are outfits you have posted that you don't like but others do and outfits you like but others don't.

I went off on one again there didn't I? Ah lets see if I can be concise. Please don't let what others say or think affect you I know it is hard but try to remember that for every one bad comment there are at least ten that are nice and we cannot please everyone, and if we tried we would just make ourselves ill and not make ourselves happy.

OK so I'm defiantly finishing off now so can I just say more fool the lads as the pictures are beautiful and I love the outfit simple but girly.It is great to see you amongst the flowers as it has been wet windy and cold here recently so these pictures help me remember that it is actually spring at the moment.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your dress, and it looks darling with lavender.
That is absolutely something we can sympathize with and understand, Lauren - everyone has been laughed at or been in an embarrassing situation. I admire your bravery for taking your pictures in public places - I don't think I could ever do that. It is natural for you to be pained by this, but don't let it bring you down. People are stupid. ;)

RC Rabbit (Bunny) said...

It is so sad people make fun of what they don't understand. Many great artists painted themselves, why would taking photos be any different? I love your blog and how open and honest you are. Taking photos of yourself to share with others doesn't only make yourself happy it makes all of us who follow you happy too.


Forwhichtheheartbeats said...

I agree on what others have said here. A bunch of guys making fun of you don't even matter when you have got innumerable amount of people/followers as a proof who love your work. Yes, blogging and taking outfit posts is a hell lot of a hard work. But only hard work pays of the way it has for you over here :)
So be proud and have no worries. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming , just keep swimming swimming swimming...a la Dorry!

Elliementary, My Dear said...

Living in the city, I get harassed by guys all the time so I'm pretty fearful that it will happen when I'm taking pictures, I would be really mad if I were you too. Even though you didn't say anything to them, you still stood your ground by not letting them stop you from taking them. And they turned out great :)

Moonstyle said...

nice dress, love it!

Unknown said...

(((LAUREN))) Such a beautiful OOTD, with such an awful experience of being bullied ... as well as outnumbered ... Maybe a prayer of protection before you set out (especially if you now feel too shy to start taking pictures again - you're too wonderful of a blogger to lose!!!)

Unknown said...

You look absolutely amazing!

x Angela

Jordyn said...

I find that EXTREMELY brave of you to still take the pictures with them there! I would have walked on by this perfect stop to find somewhere where no one is or waited for them to leave. I hope these guys and others don't stop you from taking your pictures. I love your blog and the pictures you take!
Pretty Lovely

Abigail said...

Lauren, you are so cute! Thanks for showing that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes! Love ya, and next time someone makes a dismissive comment, just remember all your loyal fans who care about you!

Ruby Sterland said...

I think I said this on Instagram yesterday, but you are so brave to take these pictures, (which are beautiful, by the way!) in public, so for that I salute you. People can be really stupid and lacking in common sense and thoughtfulness, and it's so sad to hear that bought you down, but it's tricky not to let it do so! Chin up my love, after all, those 'selfies in the flowers' are beautiful, just like you and your blog. Also- props to you for not retaliating and being the 'bigger' person. xxx


Sammi said...

Oh, Lauren. FIRST of all, you look beautiful and I looove lavender and black together! Also, scalloped flats?! So cute! Secondly... I know ALL too well EXACTLY how you feel. Do you identify with being a Highly Sensitive Person? I recently figured out I definitely fall into that designation, and it explained a lot about how I react to things like this. I would have absolutely reacted in the same way, and I hate that I can't just let things roll off my back. However, being an HSP has its advantages, I think... it's just that feeling things more deeply than other people can be both a blessing and a curse (like many things). Boys are mean and they don't understand what you're doing, and rationally, you shouldn't care about the uninformed, ignorant opinions of people who don't even know you. But I know that doesn't help make it better (or okay on their part). The sting of this will go away (though, if you're anything like me, if you look back on it later, your face will still get flushed!), and just know that they aren't allowed to have power over how you feel. <3

xox Sammi

Ashley said...

They sound like real jerks to me! You're not taking "selfies" though, definitely self portraits like many artists from now and in the past! You always lend a beautiful emotive quality to your outfit posts, which is one of the reasons I enjoy them so much! :) You create stories around your outfits and personalities which is so much fun! And this outfit is super cute!! And the location is perfect, you just have to roll your eyes at the people that make fun of instead of encourage! They don't know you and your beautiful mind! :)

Midwest Muse said...

Purple looks great on you!

Also I wouldn't take what those boys said so personally. I think you just need to step back and evaluate our culture. Years ago when you started blogging the term "selfie" was never heard of. Taking self-portraits was artsy and different. But now that the term/product of a "selfie" has gone mainstream so has the idea that taking a photo of oneself is a self-involved past time. This is ignorant I realize, but we are a culture that makes people feel bad for taking pride in themselves. I support the "selfie" even if it's a dumbass word. I love that people feel pretty and empowered enough to share. I just wish the world hadn't made it a negative term.

So what I'm saying is, rock on pretty girl. College boys will always be dumb.

Also let me know if you have some free time before going home!

Unknown said...


Thank-you so much for sharing this. I absolutely love your photos and your outfits. I am not a fashion blogger, but sometimes i think it would be fun to incorporate outfits into my posts. I don't have anyone to take photos for me, and i've always been too afraid to go out somewhere with a beautiful backdrop out of fear of exactly what you have experienced. (I also don't have a tripod which makes things harder, but not impossible, so it's just an excuse, and not a very good one)

I just want to say that the very fact you already have the courage to go out and take these photos shows that you are stronger than you may think. You are inspiring and lovely, don't let them take that away from you.

Have a wonderful day!

~ Tirzah


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