a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, May 22, 2014

You're Makin' Me Blush.

Pink Cotton 50's Dress: Bomb Shelter Vintage Shop.
Tapestry Purse: Thrifted.
Vintage Hat: Antique Market.
Heels: Target.

Hello everyone

It's strange to think about getting married someday. My classmates are already starting to get engaged and plan weddings, and we've only been out of high school two years. It gets you starting to think about where you stand about getting married and all the jazz that comes with it.

I think it's very frightening, for me at least. I could just never marry young because there's too much I want to do on my own first. I don't think it's wrong for people to get married young, but I just don't feel as though it's a good fit for me. I'm a pretty independent person and for me my happiness is not defined on whether I'm in a relationship or not. I'd even stretch as far to say that it wouldn't bother me a whole lot if I never did get married. It's not that I don't want to; trust me, I'd love to. But I've realized in the past few years since becoming a Christian that if it's not in God's plan for me, then it's not. Simple as that. I've been happy for the times I'm single, and I've been happy for the times in relationships, so it feels good to have a peace in both, helping me feel more comfortable for what the future holds for me.

It just blows my mind that you have to decide you want to spend the rest of your life with one person and one person only. Such a scary, absolutely daunting decision. I'm an awful decision maker, so I can't imagine having to decide the man I'll be wed to under God. For me, I can't fathom just feeling ever 100% positive if that person was the one. I always manage to find fault with things, and I feel like my nit pickiness and uncertainty would just ruin the 99% positive I would feel for the 1% unsure that tags along with it. Divorce frightens me. I don't want to ever be divorced, but married once and only once. It's just hard to imagine being completely sure of that decision to pick one person to be with.

Then I kind of think about the actual wedding itself. Since coming home, I've 'wasted' (relative term, ha) a lot of hours watching bride shows on TV. I love them, but it also helps me put into perspective exactly what I'd like my wedding to be like. I see all the stress, money, and just work that goes into a wedding...and it scares me, not excites me to even think about planning it. Making sure guests are happy, it's photo worthy, that everything goes smoothly...sometimes it becomes less about the actual day and what it means and more about all of the 'things' that fill up a wedding. I think someday I'll want something small, something relatively inexpensive so I can just appreciate the day and the person I'm with rather than all of the swirling materialistic notions and distractions. 

I don't know when I'll get married. I don't know who it will be with. I don't know if I'll still want a small wedding when it finally comes time to decide. But sometimes it's just interesting to think about and write down some thoughts so that when it does happen, you can see just where you were, the path you've come, and who you are at that moment. x

With much love, Lauren.


Sammi said...

Ah you look so lovely. This is one of my favorite dresses of yours! Funny -- I just wrote a post for Saturday about wedding-pondering!! I think that's a really healthy attitude for someone your age, and it's actually really mature. I think some people are too eager to get to that milestone and don't think it through. You have a good head on your shoulders, my dear!

xox Sammi

Katie Selt said...

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple years now, and we're constantly getting the whole "when are you guys going to get married? when are you going to have children?"
It's like, slow down now, guys. I'm barely 21. I don't want to go popping out children and signing legal documents at the moment. I love my boyfriend wholeheartedly, but I don't think it would be fair to either one of us to get married so young.

That dress looks fantastic on you! It's such a lovely shade!

x Katie

Unknown said...

I don't think there's such a thing as being 100% ready for any big life decision or change. Sometimes you just have to jump in. Though there should be thought first, of course.

People my age are getting married and it's freaking me out. Now that both my boyfriend of 7 years and I are done with school people are starting to bug us about getting married. It's freaky! Especially when people my age are getting married and have hardly been with the other person for any decent length of time. To each their own though.

But anyway, you look gorgeous in this pale pink dress. Such a pretty color. Cute hat too!

Kezzie said...

Oh goodness, I had no intention of getting married at 21 though 2 of my friends did get married the year after uni. Christian friends usually. X

Alexandra Marie said...

Pink! My Spring color obsession- so lovely! Alex


Debbie said...

You are stunning in pink!! I enjoyed reading your thoughts on marriage. I got married when I was 19, I have been married for 36 blissful years, it can happen!!

Unknown said...

First, love your outfit as usual, you look so sweet :). Now, I feel the same way about marriage as you do, and going to two weddings for the past two weekends really confirmed that thought that marriage just seems like a commitment I'm not ready to make yet. I'm not even decided on where I'm going to live when I'm done with school, much less deciding who I'm going to be with for the rest of my life! That being said, I love those bridal shows too, Say Yes to the Dress is my favorite!

Carrie said...

I just love reading your blog, Lauren! You are such a smart girl. I don't even remember now how I came across it, but I;'ve been reading your blog for a few years now and I am so glad. I am a 41 yo wife, mom of 2, who works full-time outside of the home. Reading your blog and hearing your stories reminds me of being young. Know this, you are doing great! I love the self-assurance you've been gaining over the years. Just keep following your heart! As for marriage, it's a big decision. I got married when I was 29, my husband was 31. It was perfect for us. Marriage is hard, but so worth it. It is so nice having a partner to walk through this crazy world. But take your time. No need to rush, enjoy your life and if/when the time comes, you will know and it will be great! I feel like your mom or MUCH older sister saying this, but I am so proud of you! Keep doing what you are doing. Enjoy your life, be good to others, and you will be fine! xoxo

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