a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Monday, May 19, 2014

On My Own.

Floral Romper: c/o Lulu*s.
Hinder Flats: c/o Pink and Pepper.
Lipstick in MAC's Chatterbox.

This will be my fifth summer taking outfit photos for this blog. I can't even really remember what summer is like not going on these little adventures with myself into nature where it's just my thoughts and I. It might be my favorite part about blogging--this time of just peacefully taking pictures alone and exploring. To me it has never seemed conceited or vain to do this, but I know to a lot of others it might seem strange or even self centered. But for me, it has never been about taking photos of myself. It's more about the release I get while taking them and this...feeling I get. I don't know how to explain it; do any of you other personal style bloggers get this? This feeling of overwhelming happiness and contentment just to express yourself through multiple creative outlets? 

It's not really until I get out of the moment of me just being alone that I actually begin to feel embarrassed about what I do. I was thinking about it today and I came a conclusion I hadn't realized; I think I'm actually embarrassed of this blog. It's not that I'm not proud of the work I do, I love what I do. But it's just so strange and weird that I don't really expect other people to understand it or try and get why I love it so much. I never realized that I avoid talking about my blog, try and divert conversation away from it, and get just generally all sorts of awkward when anyone, even friends and family, ask me about it. It doesn't feel like this big accomplishment to me or anything to brag about--I've just always seen it as this simple thing where I write and post photos I take of the outfits I wear. There's nothing commendable or brave or even noteworthy about any of that. Most people I know in real life know I have this blog, but sometimes I wish they didn't because it's just...embarrassing. I don't really care what people think of me usually, but it's just embarrassing because most probably think I'm horribly vain and obsessed with myself to have been taking self portraits nearly every day for the past four and a half years...

I guess it's just hard to convey what this blog means to me and what everyone else might see it as. I wish I could make the two images into one and show the thoughts and feelings I have on the inside rather than just feeling rather dumb about what I do here. I know I shouldn't feel that this blog makes me 'dumb', but sometimes I just do... even though that's the last thing I feel when I'm out on my own just doing what I love.

With much love, Lauren.


Hannah Barta said...

I feel the exact same way about my blog! I think it's such an awkward subject to discuss with friends and family because I think they think I'm weird for having a fashion blog or something :{ But I totally get the creative outlet feeling! I've found that artistic people tend to express themselves through multiple different outlets--some do photography, some write, some sketch or paint, and some are fashionistas :)


Unknown said...

Far from being dumb, ur blog has been the entrance to fashion - the continuation of which is studying @ Kent and the fruits of which will be seen within the next few years : who knows?! I may just be wearing a Lauren soon!!! A fashion blogger you may want to ask this of, is Leslie - TheStyleSupreme (Youtube; usual social media outlets) - because Leslie has 2 Master's Degrees, in two very non-fashion areas, and YET! she is a personal style blogger ... I think she would be a good person for you to connect with :)

Katie Selt said...

I avoid talking about mine. I'm not comfortable sharing my online life to the real life, as backwards as that sounds. Physically talking about it is so hard, but typing it out is so easy. I want to say it's our generation--the generation of the Internet--that has made talking about blogs difficult.

In real life, I'm a wreck. I'm literally the clumsiest, most unorganized and apathetic person to ever exist, and so when people find out that I have one, they're a little incredulous. It's like they don't realize that I wear clothing every day and it takes this little drop of knowledge for them to correlate my outfit of that day to being "stylish~". Whenever someone finds out (usually through Facebook) they always, ALWAYS go "so can you take pictures of me for your blog?"
No. I can't. Sorry. Personal style blog, not everyone's style blog.

I don't know, I feel like I'm rambling, but blogging has that stigma--bloggers do nothing and get paid for it. Bloggers get free things. Bloggers are wasting their lives. It's like, no, blogging, especially personal style blogging is an incredibly hard thing to get into, especially now with the popular blogs like ManRepeller, Wendy's Lookbook, Atlantic-Pacific and StyleBubble (rightfully) garnering all the attention.

So, half the people think that it's too cool and want to capitalize on my nonexistent popularity for their own gain, or are taken aback by the nature of what I call my second job.

TL;DR: I'm a human train wreck who can't physically speak to people about my blog because I'm a misanthrope.

♥ Katie


Katie Selt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ellie Balangue said...

you are so gorgeous!

Unknown said...

I know how you feel. It's awkward to talk about my blog in real life to people who don't understand style blogging. To me it's normal but I know others might perceive it as some incredibly vain endeavor when it's really about the community and getting creative outfit inspiration. It's a creative outlet and I happen to be the most accessible mannequin! I've come across people in real life who think my blogging is neat though, so you never know what someone will think until you talk about it!

Also you look super pretty here in that romper. So spring-y!

LaurenLovesLaugher said...

I completely understand what you mean... I started blogging about a year ago (you were a big inspiration to me btw!) and still only my closest friends know about it. Even amongst close friends and family I don't like to discuss it too much and always feel embarrassed because I feel like if people don't know about the whole "fashion blogging world" it can be perceived to be a very vain and just really weird thing to do. It's hard to stop worrying about what people think (even though so far I've only had positive responses from the friends who know about my blog)
Anyway, enough rambling!

I absolutely love these photos! You look so beautiful and that romper is just gorgeous! The colours are so summery and lovely! :)

Lauren xx

Unknown said...

Hi Lauren,
I totally understand where you're coming from with feeling awkward about your friends and family or just anyone "in real life" finding out about your blog. I have never felt that personal style blogging was a vain endeavor, though I have gotten some unwarranted comments from some who have never heard/never seen anything dealing with fashion blogging (especially this past weekend from a few out of towners at a wedding I went to who saw one of my posts I shared to Facebook for eShakti. I normally don't post about my blog on my personal facebook) so this post is hitting close to home today. For me, personal style blogging is fun, but it's also something I generally hide from everyone, and when they do see pictures they're kind of amazed that I take the time to get dressed, find a location, and take pictures of myself. I don't see it as "I'm pretty so let me take loads of pictures of myself". It's more that I really love style and generally my friends don't care so much about style (not that they're not stylish ladies, they are!) but here I have a space to connect with other bloggers who do care about style, and this community makes me the happiest.It's kind of sad that it's seen in such a negative light, but know that all of us readers and fellow bloggers are behind you :)

Jaela said...

Lovely, I have the same romper


Unknown said...

No, I completely agree with you. I always make sure that my blog is the last thing people find out about me. I have discussed this a few times on my own blog. There is something both insecure and narcissistic about being an artiste, and most of are are acutely aware ourselves, and what others might think of us. A lot people have a horrid opinion about fashion bloggers - and if you add being plus sized into the mix it's just ten-fold stigma!!! I've had so many awkward conversations with people, where I have held back my blogger-status, and when they uncover the truth, they get really embarrassed. I don't usually take offence to those sorts of opinions though. There are all types of people in every circle, and environment, and to do what we do we do have to brave to an extent, as well as thick skinned. I also get a bit of a buzz from taking pictures for my blog. It's an outlet. A way to express ourselves. And no matter how much some people might think that what we do is trivial, superficial, and vain, it's not. If it were vain, we would not be re-directing conversations away from the topic of our blog! LOL

BTW, didn't you destroy your shoes getting them wet like that?

Anne said...

I don't have a fashion blog, but I love reading your blog because you provide great outfit ideas and have real creativity! How you combine patterns, colors, and textures gives me ideas on how I can do more with my wardrobe and I really like that. You have a real talent and this is your way of expressing it. I don't find it to be superficial in the least. It's a part of you, and I'm glad that you share it with all of us.

Thanks for the great fashion and creative ideas!

Lorna said...

Lauren Hi !
You look so Pretty Again !
I love this playsuit.
And these little Darling flat shoes.
I know how it feels and its great, you ve done great.
So happy fifth! ;)


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