a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Silence Guides Our Minds.

Cream Loafers: c/o Pink and Pepper.
Lipstick in MAC's Diva.

You may find me crazy for wearing a short sleeve dress outside when it's snowing in January, but I'll tell you somethin'. When it's -40 below for a good three days, 28 degrees doesn't feel half too bad. That cold weather messed with my mind and now I think I can obviously go runnin' around in bath suits in the winter. Yeesh, hope to see you never again, 'Polar Vortex.'

On a more serious note, let's talk about something that's been bothering me lately. Jealousy. Not with others being jealous of me, but me being jealous of others. I hate jealousy. I think it's one of the worst human emotions to experience. It literally feels like you're evil and you can't help it from consuming you and taking over all of the good parts of your heart.

I'm generally not a jealous person, but I was sent into a fit of it a few months ago when I found out someone I went to high school with got an awesome opportunity that I would have loved to have had. I felt like they didn't deserve it, and I did. And it made me so jealous to know that this person was living out one of my dreams. It's continued to bother me all of this time. This inner hatred of someone who didn't even DO anything to me. They're just living their life the best they can like I am. As hard as I try, I find it hard to shake this jealousy and it stinks.

Am I just going to go into moping rage every time someone else gets something I want? Well, that's going to happen to me a lot over the course of my life. There's always going to be people who maybe don't 'deserve' something but they get it anyways, and there's always going to be people who beat you out for things you want. That shouldn't stop me, or you, in our tracks. I don't know if it's worse the fact that I am jealous or the fact that I've let the jealousy bother me so long. I have no reason to be jealous. I have a beautiful life where I've been blessed with so many things and opportunities. I go to an incredible fashion school, I was in Seventeen Magazine, I have over 1,000 awesome followers, and I'm going to Italy next semester For Pete's sake!? Why do I feel the need to want what someone else has?

Because I'm fallen. I am sinful. It's frustrating, but it just shows me all the more human I am. I am ashamed to talk to God every night because of this darkness in my heart over this jealousy, but I know He loves me anyways despite that. And that's even more humbling. He sees all of my darkness and accepts it and loves me anyways. How many humans can you say do that?

If you all have any tips on dealing with jealousy or verses to combat jealousy, I'd love to hear them! I know it's something we all experience, but it just stinks to go through sometimes, you know? x

With much love, Lauren.


Unknown said...

I don't think it's possible to 'combat' jealousy because it's a natural human emotion. The grass is always SEEMS greener on the other side, but I guess you just have to live your life and be content with what you currently have. I'm sure you've had loads of experiences/achievements that your friends may've wish they had!

On a side note, I really love your dress - especially the colour! (:

Yuen @ The Craziest Paradigm - a 'lil bit of rust & stardust

Miche said...

Love this dress! The look is perfect, and I totally feel ya on the weather - 28 feels incredible, and this weekend it's supposed to get up to like 47! (At least in Columbus). Anyway, I totally know what you mean about jealousy, sadly I havent really found a good tip or way to fight it off, I usually just try to focus on all that I do have and all that I have wanted and have gotten throughout my life. Focusing on the positives and things you have instead of what you dont or what others have is really what gets me through my days :/ Though I do think jealousy is normal, I also hope its something that kinda fades as you get older and more established (fingers crossed).
Miche from Buttons and Birdcages

Sampada said...

Love the outfit! So striking against the snow.
On jealousy, I totally get it. I'm always pining for what others have. But I remind myself that although they have material things that I want, they might not have certain intangible things that I have and cherish.
Perhaps just having a good think-session with yourself about what you feel is really important to you might help. I know it helps me feel better when I remind myself about my personal accomplishments too -- because the satisfaction I felt is something that others will never understand...it was an emotion that only I can know.


Wild Flower said...

Lovely dress Lauren!

Jealousy is a difficult thing to get rid of, if not impossible. I often find myself struggling with jealousy and have to keep saying "just focus on yourself and how much you are blessed". Which, of course, is easier than said. Hopefully we can get a hold on our jealousy and work on trying to be more happy. It's certainly what I need!

Hope you feel better and try not to be strict on yourself.


Lauren | Chic Éthique said...

I sometimes struggle with jealousy as well. What has helped me is to think about my life, and how whatever I'm jealous of is not right for my life at that time. God's timing is perfect, and he will bring the right opportunities for us in our individual lives.
I love your new dress!

Natasha Atkerson said...

Great outfit lady!
I agree! It's so easy to get into a "everyone has it better than me" mentality. I have the hardest time in blog world! It's easy to get discouraged about how many people follow me, or how many comments I get, the bottom line? We're all different, so we shouldn't compare.
A modest fashion blog:

Unknown said...

Oh jealousy, such a horrible thing. I find it mostly in interpersonal things. The guy at work everyone likes because he is in a band and has a cool beard and I am shyly sitting in my corner doing nothing to attract attention yet hoping it comes anyway. So I instantly start to resent him and I have to really fight it.

I just tell myself, no matter how much things sometime look wonderful or perfect for me, it is not in my plan. What is brought to me is what I am to have and sometimes those opportunities might end up being very bad for me. The less I try to control or fret about what comes my way, the better my life has gone. So I am kind of lonely now. Just have to trust it is part of a bigger scheme I only have sight of 1 tiny corner of.

As for your look, instantly I thought you looked like a gorgeous Little Orphan Annie, non-redhead of course :) That dress is adorable! And I so enjoy that shot of your cute feet in the tights too. So cool! And that shot of you with your hand under your lovely chin, breathtaking in its sweetness and beauty. Wonderful post, dear :)

Zika Vica said...

Amazing dress. :)

Isabelle said...

Oh my gosh Lauren! This has to be my favorite look on your blog, ever. I immediately thought of Snow White when I saw this look! When it comes to jealousy, I probably am not the best person to give advice, as I deal with jealousy just about everyday. I think you need to keep in mind that your time will come if you keep working hard at whatever you're doing. Although that person may not have deserved the opportunity like you, you're destined for bigger and better things. <3

xo, Isabelle


Elliementary, My Dear said...

It's interesting that you posted about jealousy because it's something I'm trying hard to work on improving about myself. I think it's okay to feel jealous of other people as long as we feel it for a moment and then let it go rather than let it linger.

Also, you look adorable in this dress :) And I have those same shoes! Love them.

Elliementary, My Dear said...
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Ashleigh said...

I think that you being able to go outside and take pictures in the snow is incredible. Not only do you have a great back drop, but you also have great stamina. I applaud you. I went outside the other day in about 45 degree weather and was freezing. I didn't think I'd be able to finish with the photo shoot. You dress is really lovely. I'm a huge fan of red. :D


Unknown said...

Your snow pictures always get me! I tried taking photos outside once and haven't been out again!

Jealousy is a hard thing, and everyone is jealous of someone at one point or another, so don't beat yourself up so much about it. I would suggest trying to focus on thing good thing that you have in your life and all of the great oppurtunities you have. And you never know, they may be dreading this oppurtunity they were given now, you never know how people really feel about things, there's that saying about the grass always looking greener on the other side!

Also, love your shoes :)

Unknown said...

I read alot of blogs and yours is by far my favourite. Thats 1. Because of ur adorable outfits, which I cant help but being a little jelous over myself. And 2. The way u incorporate God and the message into your posts. I really love the way you are using your gifts of making Super cute outfits, to spread the word. I hope that I can find a way to use my gifts to please God too. YOUR SOOO INSPIRATIONAL!

a big fan, Morag (>o<) ♡♡

Lauren said...

Haha I am such a jealous person, I totally feel your pain. It's gotten better over the years, and what I do is I just have to remind myself that at the end of the day, in the big scheme of life, the only thing that will matter is how I impacted the world, not how much I worried about impacting it more or less than someone else.


Sara, Swing The Day Away said...

We all feel jealousy, and I agree that it sucks to feel and I also hate feeling it. It's one of the worst emotions ever. Possibly second to heartbreak and grief. Don't beat yourself up over it too much. It's natural and normal and you'll get past it. :)

By the way...I love how well your lipstick matches your dress. You look so pretty! :)

Anonymous said...

Omg you are just beautiful! I love the look and the blog I am your newest follower !


Anonymous said...

Omg you are just beautiful! I love the look and the blog I am your newest follower !


Anonymous said...

Omg you are just beautiful! I love the look and the blog I am your newest follower !


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kezzie said...

In many ways, it's the hardest deadly sin to deal with because it eats away at you. I find it hard to deal with when I feel jealous. I feel guilty when I feel it and when I've acknowledged it, I try hard to be really nice to that person. The feelings do come back though. Pray, pray pray x x

Anonymous said...

The art of being a lady includes a strong sense of graciousness and support towards others. Both those less fortunate than you and those more successful than you. When you embrace and sincerely put forth publicly this graciousness, you will not only see this jealously disappear, but you will brighten your own star and grow stronger in your own self worth.

Why not contact this person and sincerely congratulate her? Tell her how happy you are for her, really feel that, and wish her all the best. Strive for that as an elegant and gracious young woman.

You look beautiful in these photos Lauren.

Anonymous said...

This may the loveliest outfit I've ever seen you wear! The dress is absolutely breathtaking, and it looks so fantastic with your hair and coloring. Beautiful, beautiful look, and I love the snow, though it must have been painful to stand in it for pictures.

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