a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Just Bloom.

"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms."

I've been in a really difficult season of my life lately comparing myself to others. As graduation is approaches, many of my classmates have had exciting job opportunities for their post-grad life offered to them. It's hard not to compare and get down on yourself. I've been putting in applications since January, revising my resume and cover letter, working part time to save money to move, and trying to make sure my senior project is perfect so I get picked to show case in New York. You see yourself doing all these things and know how much effort you're putting in, and when nothing comes of your labor...it's easy to get down.

These people deserve the things they've achieved and I'm happy for my classmates. There's no reason to not celebrate in their joy just because I'm not where they are yet. Still, I just can't help but feel like a failure in the process because I've had 0 interviews and nearly 0 responses to my applications put out. I've gone to bed every single night for the last 8 months thinking about New York and how I'm going to get there. The thoughts often keep me up. They race around and around as I work myself into a panic of realizing that I have no job with graduation less than a month away. Other times the thoughts are calming. I think of my dreams and what I want out of life and imagine what it will finally feel like to be in New York City again.

A lot of times I wonder what I'm doing wrong for everyone else to be achieving success around me while I stay stagnant. Am I not trying hard enough? Is my cover letter not great? Do I need more experience? Have I put enough applications in? I've contemplated all these answers to as why I may not be succeeding in the things I want and trust me, I've attempted to fix them all. You know what I've found though?

I'm not doing any of those things wrong.

The things am doing wrong? Doubting myself. Comparing myself. Belittling myself at not being good enough or smart enough or accomplished enough. Things as large as a post-grad career take time and commitment to make happen. It didn't happen over night for any of my classmates and it won't happen overnight for me.

When you've been working months tirelessly trying to make your dreams come true with little leeway, it's important to take a step back and realize what you do have.

I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Fashion Merchandising.
I have a plan of where I want to live.
I have a passion, hunger, and drive for getting where I want.

With these things I will succeed. It may not be on the same time table as everyone else, but it'll be in my own moment right for me.

Flowers don't compete to be the best and brightest bloom. They just grow and become what they were destined to be.

So should you. So should I.

With much love,


Outfit Details:
White Blouse (very similar): Thifted.
Vintage '70s Scarf (similar to mine & I have a floral one, too!): Thrifted.
Black Denim Button Front Skirt (very similar): Thrifted.
Black Strap Flats (very similar): Thrifted.
Patent Envelope Clutch (similar): Thrifted.


Christine said...

haha, first comment! Gah- I totally understand where you are coming from. I went through a season in grad school where I was comparing myself to certain peers. I needed to continuously remind myself that I need to do my personal best and that my dreams and God's will for me may not be the same and that also goes for my timeline I set for myself.

Keep at it girly!

Ethical Fashion + Faith

Carmel Elizabeth said...

I totally get what you're saying. I'm graduating in May too and though I'm working a lot right now, I don't have a complete plan for my life post-graduation, and it seems like everyone else does (or expects me to have one? or is that just me?). It keeps me up at night, too. :(

On the bright side, you've accomplished some really great things so far, and you do have a passion, a dream that you're pursuing actively, and that's what makes the difference between those who succeed and those who don't. It may take a little longer, but at the end of the day you're going to succeed - whether the world realizes it or not - because you gave your everything for that dream, and you didn't give up. <3

(Also I really love this outfit. That blouse/scarf combo is flawless.)

Madison said...

Ah....this outfit....it's like classic lady meets menswear. FAB! I have no doubt Lauren that despite the seemingly scarce opportunities right now the perfect nob is just waiting for you around the corner and will be soooo perfect and completely with it!!!

a.n.g. said...

I love what you have to say here! It's so true and difficult to remember. And it is sooo hard to be patient. Thank you for this post. I hope everything goes well for you!

And I love, love this outfit!

Katie Selt said...

It's hard to not compare yourself to others when the other's are doing so well, but the key is to realize that you are doing well, too. And, I'm glad you're seeing your worth for what it is. Sometimes we get these ideas in our heads about how we should be and where we should be and we refuse to see that where we are and who we are are fine.

You'll get where you want to be, so don't worry about the when, just worry about the how.

Also, you look great as absolutely always!

Katie | Katie Like Me

jo said...

Good luck! A question, how do you wear short skirts without showing too much when you sit or bend over?

SB said...

I can totally identify with this, I did everything later in life than most uni, college etc due to health difficulties. This means that although I'm in my late 20s I haven't achieved many of the things that most people younger than me have, including you. My cousin will be going into her last year at uni in September after completing her year abroad and by this time next year she will have her MA while I'm still working towards my BA. It is so hard not to compare myself to her and feel like a failure, but then I remind myself that she has her path in life and I have mine just because we're related doesn't make us the same, it doesn't mean we'll walk the same path. Everyone is different as each flower is although they look the same from a distance if you get close you can see subtle differences there are those that flower sooner and those that flower later but they all flower in their own unique way. Yes soppy I know but I thought I'd just run with the flower analogy.

Seeing those around you achieve their goals can be so hard but I am a firm believer that if it is meant to happen it will, it may not be tomorrow or next week but if it is meant to be it is meant to be. Remember when you were looking for somewhere to live after you came back from Italy last year(?) and you searched and searched and searched and you were getting really discouraged yet in the end you found a great place so perfect in fact aren't you there this year as well? Don't worry too much if things don't happen the way you want life can take a very circuitous route but that doesn't stop you from ending up where you are meant to be.

Lee said...

First - this outfit is AMAZING!! seriously, everything about it is perfect.

second - I graduated from college last may and I can't tell you how this post totally summed up how I was feeling when I was about to graduate. Everyone else was going to grad schools, moving, getting new jobs and what was I doing? moving home without a job. It was almost impossible not to have some sort of self-doubt. One of my problems was I didn't have a huge plan or 'goal' like you do - so it's awesome that you do!!! Seriously, that's one of the biggest steps. And even though I had all this self-doubt (hate?) I finally found a job I LOVE after almost 9 months of searching and it feels really awesome. You'll get there.

Lee - leethrifts.com

Unknown said...

You look so cute! Love the shoes!

The Cassie Paige
New Post: Spring is Around the Corner

Kezzie said...

I remember the doom of EVERYONE seeming to have been offered teaching jobs and I hadn't yet. It was really hard and yes, I was really glad for everyone but it was still scary. And then I was offered 3 jobs in one day! And a fourth offer came the next day after I'd accepted one. So, you never know!!!!
Hold in lovely, you are doing so well and yes, there is lots to be proud of and glad of!

Lorna said...

On fleek ! as always :*



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