a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Spearmint + Bubblegum.

Pink Blazer: Thrifted.
Floral Heels: Forever21.
Key Necklace: Gift from Matt.

Today was the ideal day for spring break. I woke up from a tender morning of sleeping in to the beautiful melody of birds chirping outside. The sun glinted through the drawn shades of my blinds, cascading brilliant prisms of light across my walls. I got up, and took a soothing bath in hot water and lathered the most heavenly smelling lotion over my dry body. With my wet hair in a braid down my back, I snuggled up on the couch in my comfiest jeggings and panda t-shirt to start the second installment of The Hunger Games book. After a few hours of contently reading, I nibbled on cereal and a banana, keeping my pet kitty cat company. I made a short trip over to the local blockbuster to rent a movie I've been pinning after seeing for ages; Blue Valentine. I watched the heart wrenching tale of love with tears welled up in my eyes and finished it with a heavy heart- but not to say it wasn't brilliant.

Such a lovely day. Perfect really. I makes me worried though at how content I can be by myself. No one was in the house today, yet I did not feel alone. I had not obligations to people. No one I had to please, no one I had to attend to but myself. I'm coming to the realization that it's silly for me to always want someone to depend on and be there for me...because I'm nothing short of a hypocrite. I can't do it for others, so why should I be the one to want it for myself? Being alone for the rest of my life is something that plagues my thoughts so often. It's probably one of my biggest fears aside from death. The thought of going through life without friends. Without a husband. Without anyone to lean on. I want to be loved and love in return, but sometimes I just don't feel like I'm capable of it. I do too much wrong to other people and they don't understand that's not on purpose...it's just the way I am. I've been praying a lot lately not to end up alone in life. That I may stop disappointing people and letting myself down. Maybe someday I can do those things.

With much love, Lauren.


claire said...

your outfit is just perfect. like oh my gosh your dress, and your shoes, and just everything. and your day sounds very perfect, i just bought the first hunger games book and i can't wait to read it!

Kezzie said...

Don't worry Lauren, I used to think about ending up alone when I was younger and it sounded horrible! You are a beautiful person and you will not end up alone. Besides, you are a Christian and surely you have friends and family in church? They are always there for me even when other friends might let me down and likewise I try to make sure I am there for them. Some of my best friends are much older or much younger than me but we are united in our love of Jesus! I have a friend who is old enough to be my Mum but she's come to seek sanctuary at mine after terrible arguments with her husband. Friends are not always what you might expect them to be! Even when I was 18, I had friends of all ages! (Hope this helps in some way! I do understand the feelings of angst, really I do! Just trying to offer other outlooks to it!)xx

Teddi said...

lauren, be gentle with yourself. we are all only human after all.

Unknown said...

This outfit is wonderful! I just love the mix of color. It's so perfectly springy! I'm loving your nails that match your outfit too. Hope you're having a fantastic break!

Emily said...

I'm feeling the same exact way Lauren, its okay. I love your outfit by the way, you pull off everything so easily it seems like! I especially love the high-low dress:) I hope your having an awesome Spring Break!

Katie Burry said...

Love your shoes! <3

I know what you mean. Sometimes I can be perfectly content on my own, but other times I pine for a friend, a boy friend, someone to go on adventures with...

In other (happier) news, I'm looking forward to shipping out your package tomorrow! Woohoo!

Elanor said...

oh lauren, i feel so similar! as i read this post, i thought you were reading my mind. but i know we won't be alone and God has a plan for us. gotta have faith, right? <3

you look beautiful - i adore this dress and the asymmetrical cut!

Em [The Writer] said...


Unknown said...

I love your shoes! They are so cute and girly and springy and wonderful. I could go on for awhile. :P

Don't worry about it girl! Lots of people worry about being alone, but I think those are actually alone have to work hard to close themselves off from everyone else, and I just don't see you doing that!

Its good to have a day to yourself; it keeps you sane.

By the way, I have to ask. Peeta or Gale?


Unknown said...

Utterly beautiful! Love your shoes so much!

Sometimes I enjoy being alone. It's always a good break :)

xx Carina

katie said...

1. I love these colors together and you look like a fashion model in your last photo!
2. Those are Forever21 shoes?! I am going to have to go stalk their website now and see if I can find those, because those shoes are AWESOME.
3. It's alright. (I'm giving you a big ol' internet hug!) Not to sound all-old-persony, but the teenage years are the hardest. I struggled with the same feelings, but it's good to be okay with being alone! None of us are perfect and we all have failed ourselves and our friends at times(I know I have!) but you're doing so good at being able to step back and see this. I know that you will meet amazing people in your life and there are some many people who are going to love you. Life is just starting and there are so many amazing things out there, don't hold back! (And I'm sorry for writing a whole book here, I guess I just want to say that it's going to be okay. ^_^)

Aliya said...

Aw Lauren, hooe you feel better soon! Anyway, love the colour combination in your outfit!

x Aliya

Unknown said...

This outfit is one of the most adorable outfits I have seen in a while! Love it!

Anonymous said...

that color combo is amazing! and I love the flowyness of your dress with the blazer. and speaking of the blazer....you found a pink blazer while thrifting? amazing! love your shoes too!


Unknown said...

Your nails are to die for! :-) And I really like the colors in your outfit, perfect for Spring!!

SM said...

Beautiful spring outfit! I love the dress.

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