a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Monday, October 4, 2010

Monday Blues.

Blue Cropped Trench Jacket: Gabriel Brother's.
Polka Dot Skirt: Forever21.
Gold Chain Clip On Earrings: Thrifted.
Blue 1950's Bow Stilettos: Thrifted.

Hello everyone!

It seems as though I had quite the case of the Monday blues today. I knew that today was not going to be the greatest because Matt wasn't going to be at school today. Without Matt, school is almost unbearable. I keep trying to buck up and not be so sad when he's not at school because I know next year he won't be at school at all, but sometimes it is just so hard. I feel so alone at school without him. I am like an invisible person who watches as all of the other students laugh with their friends and have fun. I watch as people pass me by and look right through me it seems. I sit by myself; isolated from the other students. No one wants to be my partner and I can't really blame them. I don't really talk, and they don't really know me, so why should they want to be my partner?

I just felt so lonely and empty today at school, and these feelings are something I am very familiar with and am faced with quite often. What scared me about these feelings, however, is that instead of feeling like this every once and awhile, I might feel like that everyday next year without Matt at my side. When I got home today I just had a really good cry and that did make me feel better. Just bottling my emotions up all day is so hard, and it felt good to release my bad feelings after a long day.

I'm trying to look at the bright side of this bad day like Maria of Undergrad Fab would do :) Instead of moping around and having a pity party for myself, it's important to look at the bright side of my day and the wonderful things I do have in my life. At the end of today, I received something really wonderful that I cannot WAIT to show you all tomorrow! I am seriously so excited!

I know that I'm just going through a rough patch in my life right now, but I will get through it. I know I will. High school is just a small portion of my life, and in the long run it won't even come to matter in the future. For now I've just got to try and deal with it the best I can and have faith that everything will eventually turn out okay :)

Hope everyone is doing great!

With much love, Lauren.

P.S. To the anonymous commenter on my last post. I'm sorry to hear that you think I complain too much about other people and should focus on my style and my blog more. Thank you for your advice, but I'd just like to remind you that this is a personal life blog ,as well, as a personal style blog. For me, venting out my feelings and emotions about life is an important part of this blog and who I am. If you believe that I complain about other people too much, I'm sorry you think that and you do not have to continue to read my blog if it makes you unhappy. And frankly, I am done with the whole issue,have moved on, and am not planning on talking about it anymore. My last post did not even say anything about other people, and I only addressed this issue in one post and one post only.


Mary said...

Aww, Lauren, I'm sorry you had such a terrible day! But I'm glad my little mope-fest last week could give you some inspiration to end the day on a brighter note :) And if I can give a little unsolicited advice--and I'm sure you know all this already, but sometimes it helps me to hear it from someone else too. You don't have to think about Matt being gone yet, especially since this year only just started! So enjoy the time you have together now because there's still a long way to go until this year is over :)
On a more positive note, though-- you look fabulous! I am LOVING the primary color thing you've got going on, especially that skirt!
And ONE last thing (sorry :)) but I absolutely can't stand negative anonymous commenters. I know that when I read & really follow a blog, I'm just as invested in its writer and their life and writings as I am their outfits-- plus, everyone is allowed some time to vent now and then! Glad to see that you are taking their comments with a grain of salt :)

Mila said...

Sorry that you had a bad day! I feel the same way a lot..I don't really have the same interests at school as a lot of people, so I feel invisible too! So I hear you..:( I hope you feel better soon, maybe you could video chat with Matt? That might make you feel better. You still look gorgeous in the photos though! Everybody at school should be jealous that you have your own personal style and keep your head high at all times--some day they'll look back and realize how undeveloped they were in high school by copying/being mean to you.
Sorry about the anonymous comment! Ugh, I swear, there's like a million of anonymous people out there who's goal is to put someone else down! People don't seem to realize that they don't get to choose what YOU put om YOUR OWN blog. Don't let them get to you!:)


Blake Jacobsen said...

I know the feeling Lauren! It's too bad we couldn't have met sooner, that way school may have been slightly more bearable.

My comments are probably too personal, but they are in response to the personal aspect of your blog. Your outfits are clearly wonderful, it would get repetitive telling you that each post! As for the anonymous commenter, they clearly have no idea of the purpose behind blogging. Whether it is a fashion blog, a cooking blog, or a traveling blog, the time manifested into blogging is solely for journalization.

And like you said, this part of your life is so temporary. High school, for lack of a better word, sucks. You, unlike most people, will have a successful life beyond high school.

This officially has been a long and rather awkward comment.

Alison said...

I'm sorry that you had such a rough day! I totally know what you mean - starting over at college, I definitely know what it feels like to be alone. But it gets better! You just need to push through.
On another note, your outfit is gorgeous as usual! Hope your tomorrow is better :)

<3 Alison

Pensudar (: said...

on the bright side, you had gossip girl tonight (;

Maria said...

Lauren, I hate that you're having a rough time. I understand what you're going through, I really do. I was, and still am, rather quiet and shy. High school is not always fun for people like us. It's important to find someone or others like you so you don't have to go through it alone.

On the other hand, you look very pretty! I love this outfit. The colors, the vibe, everything is just perfect.

Oh, and don't worry about the anonymous poster, the rest of us enjoy your blog the way it is. I like hearing about your day and what you're going through.

Sandy said...

What lovely skirt!! You look adorable in it. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. Tomorrow will be a better day! =)

JGO said...

Dear Lauren,
I can relate to what you are going through at this time of your life. I, like you, experienced similar situations while in my high school years. Rest assured your future will be so bright, you won't even remember lonely moments.
As for the bullies...they clearly have no idea as to what is going on.

Louise (Fifth Sparrow) said...

I'm so sorry you're having a rough patch. Those times suck. They also help to make you stronger and a better person, though. Which I know is not what you want to hear but, believe me, it's true. You have such a wonderful, bright and exciting future ahead of you, high school is just a blip in your life. I'm sending a big hug!!

p.s you look adorable here, love the print on the skirt! xx

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