a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Friday, September 24, 2010

A VERY Important Announcement.

Brown Ruffle Blouse: Thrifted.
Navy Pleated: Thrifted.
Navy Skinny Belt: Charlotte Russe.
Brown Socks: Stolen from Mom.
Brown Wedges Shoes: Target.
Brown Purse: Thrifted.
Gold Chain Earrings: Thrifted.

Hello everyone!

So I have been thinking lately about a lot of things. It seems like my mind is always swimming with thoughts and I have no idea how to put these feelings and emotions into words.

I originally started this blog last November for two reasons: 1.to document my personal style as it grew 2. to express my feelings because I had no way else to release them. Blogging quickly went from being a hobby, to an absolute passion. Although I had no followers for months and comments would be one here and there, I still loved to blog with all my heart because it was for myself. Even after I started gaining followers, I always kept in mind what I wanted to blog about, not what I thought would please others. When people ask, "I'll follow your blog if you follow mine," I've never accepted that offer. I want my followers to be genuine and not just follow my blog because they want to gain more followers. Blogging was never about how many followers I had, or if I got any comments on a post. It still isn't about all of that. I blog because I am so inspired by all of you, and I want to share what I love with others who are like me because honestly in reality, I am quite alone.

Whenever I'm having a bad day, it's such a relief to come to this blog and vent out my feelings and frustrations. My blog is my sanctuary. It is who I am and what I am all about. Lately, however, I have just felt so...not me. Whereas I used to feel like I could say anything I wanted on this blog, recently have felt restricted in what I can say. Many people from school read my blog, and this concerns me. I feel like what ever I have to say will be blasted around at school, or that I might offend someone by something I say. There have been things I have wanted to tell you all who do not know me personally in real life, that I have not because of fear of conflict arising from fellow classmates who read my blog. Some of these classmates I have given my address to, some of them I have not. I'm not even sure who from school read my blog. The point is, it's not fair that I can no longer fulfill one of my main goals of my blog of expressing my personal feelings. This just absolutely breaks my heart.

Also, I've had a real problem at people from my school lately. During the summer I felt so...free. I felt so...alive and totally and utterly...me. With school having started, the life and individuality I love about myself has disappeared. Every outfit I wear is scrutinized, and then soon copied. People are so uninspiring and everyone is...the same. I get little to no inspiration from my fellow classmates. There is no individuality, no spark, no anything really. The people at my school devour me and tear me apart everyday... The one thing I love people are taking over and doing for all the wrong reasons. My individuality is being stripped from me and there is nothing I can do about it. I cannot stop people from copying me and the things I do. It makes me so upset because these people do what I do because they are insecure, not because they want to express themselves through clothing. These people are unsure of who they really are, so they find it acceptable to steal someone else's identity. They want compliments to make themselves feel beautiful and confident. They want stares to make themselves feel noticed and important. They want to dress up for all of the wrong reasons. It's literally killing me inside to see what I am passionate about being done by other people for reasons like those. I dress for no one but myself. I do not wear dresses and heels everyday to get compliments or prove myself to all of you here that read my blog. I dress in dresses and heels everyday because it's just who I am. Clothing is the only way I can let people see who I really am since I am such an introverted individual. I'm tired of posers, copy cats, and wannabe people. Is it so hard to just be yourself anymore!?!

So, because of all of these thoughts that have been bouncing around furiously in my head. I have made an important decision. I will be taking a short hiatus from my blog. Nothing major, I promise. I love blogging too much to give it up completely. I will not be blogging at all for approximately 5-7 days so that I can sort some things out in my mind. I need to get inspired again. I have to clear my head and just... think. I know that when I come back to blogging I will have a fresh and new mindset. Things in my life have just been so overwhelming lately and I need to find focus. When I say I will not be blogging, I mean just posting only. I still plan on reading and commenting on all of your blogs as usual! I just need to take a little break from mine to refocus.

I just want to sincerely thank you all so much if you just read my big long rant, and to those of you who skimmed, that's okay, too. ;) ( I really can't blame you) It sounds so corny, but I want to thank all of you and tell you that I love you. Really. Your support means everything to me.



Maria said...

Oh, Lauren, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all of this. It sucks to be surrounded by people who are ready to tear you apart every day, and I know how tough that can be. Don't allow them to strip you of your passions. If you're uncomfortable with them knowing about your blog, then minimize the amount of people you give out your address to. While some people may be genuinely interested in your blog, others will lurk for other reasons. jealousy is a strange thing.

I hope that you will take the next week or so and gain some perspective and then come back to us renewed and refreshed and ready to take on life again. I will miss your cute outfits and stories. Until the, take care my friend.

BARESTUDY (Janelle) said...

be back soon... i love seeing your posts. :)

anyway, don't worry about those copycats. just think that you are the trendsetter. let them copy you and dress how they want.. at least you know for a fact that you started it and they copied you. you don't have to stop anything that you love for those kind of people. people have their own intentions and as long as yours are good and will hurt no one, you are all set. let them be and just keep doing what you do. :)


Mary said...

Oh, Lauren, I'm so sorry that you're struggling with people at school. High school can be a vicious place, just by its nature. I hope you know how much you're valued in the blogging community-- how much I enjoy seeing your outfits, yes, but more importantly reading about YOU as a person! Take all the time you need to figure things out, and know that all your readers will still be here when you get back!
(ps. LOVE that blouse! it's adorable :))

Me said...

Lauren,first i want to say I'll miss you and your posts way to much. I might even comment for no reson so bewared. Also,i'm sorry about the copycats I hate when people do that so half of you wants to kinda change so they wont follow but the other half says well why should i change for them. Well i guess thats life.


Mila said...

I'm sorry people at school have been getting you down:( For me, it's kind of the opposite...people don't really copy me, they just stare, which is really nerve-racking also. Don't worry--most high-schoolers copy you probably just because they don't have a personal style as unique as yours yet! Don't pay any attention to them--it's your style, and nobody can change it. I get so worried when I think about people from school and swimming reading my blog...I mean I haven't even told like, any of my best swimming friends about my blog, so I can understand what you're going through...and it totally stinks. Well, we'll miss you while you're gone, but I'm sure you'll come back more inspired than ever.:)


The Semi Sweet said...

Here's something that I'm thinking. I am wondering if the other girls at school are copying your looks, because maybe they always wanted to wear heels and skirts but were afraid of what people would say or react. You were brave enough to not give a crap what other people thought, so you sort of broke down a barrier for those girls. Trust me, it happens at every highschool. I remember being the first to decided to wear those Spice Girls platform sneakers at school (yeah I was in highschool 10 years ago), and damn it did it not take the other girls at school to start doing the same thing after 2 weeks. Or how about in my adult life, I used to shop at NY and Company and my manager would purposely buy the exact same top, pant, skirt...only in a different color so we could be "twins". Yeah, that pissed me off, so I understand where you're coming from. But remember that you may be taking your blog into real life and giving people inspiration at your own school.

JGO said...

First things first, I love, love, love your outfit. You look gorgeous...as for the way you've been feeling, I don't blame you, it happens to all of us once in a while. The important thing is that you stay true to yourself, just be you, the way you've always been. You are setting a trend, and people are following you now, which is pretty cool if you ask me. Don't find it offensive if you are being copied in fashion style, but rejoice, and know that you are leading those who have know idea how to put themselves together. Take as much time off as you need, but do come back soon...you'll be missed...
Your Friend,
The Darling Homemaker, Jacqueline

Sofi Moukidou said...

omg! you are in my mind! allthought please don't let them influir you and fell bad, and please come back soon! we are going to miss you so so so so much!!!
p.s. love your shirt and your bag!

Louise (Fifth Sparrow) said...

awh Lauren, I totally understand how you feel. I've been finding it really hard lately too. You'll have to let me know how it goes, maybe blogging breaks are good for everyone!

Can't wait to see your lovely outfits and thoughts when you come back! You look so pretty here! xx

Beth said...

Well, I love your outfit. I WILL COPY IT AND I AM NOT ASHAMED!

I think most people in high school have too low a self esteem or are too lazy to make an effort to dress. It is a sad time that Unfortunately lives on forever in our memories.

Don't worry though- soon you will be in college where people are encouraged to express themselves. There is so much less judgement and much more celebrating our individuality and style.

Look forward to the conclusion of your hiatus.

Jenna said...

It's ok breaks are good :) But remember when people copy you it's a compliment!! You're a trendsetter!!! But I understand how you feel. It's hard for people to be themselves sometimes 'cause they're worried about how 'the real them' will be recieved by people (I know I've been there!! lol) you're lucky you're so comfortable in your own skin.
But I really 100% understand what it's like to have kids (and teachers!!! lol) from school reading your blog. That's what happened to me. It kinda feels like you have to filter what you post, you know?
Can't wait to hear your new mindset!!!
--- Jen

Anonymous said...

After following your blog, I think I have an idea what Santa might bring you for Christmas -some socks! Love the new pics from downtown.

Love, Aunt Stacey

Blake Jacobsen said...

Hiatuses are always good Lauren, but don't let the immaturity/insecurity of others adversely effect you. As you know, I can relate to your scenario almost identically. Unfortunately, it's easy to be blind-sighted when it seems like everyone around you is criticizing (yet ironically copying). Just keep in mind that the people that are copying you, or criticizing you, or un-authentically trying to befriend you, do not matter. The people who do matter, including yourself, are the only people you should pay mind to.

Can't wait to see you posting again. :) Also, here's to more collaborations!


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