Hello everyone ♥
Some of you could perhaps sense from my various social media outlets that I've had a lot going on in my personal life as of late. I used to be very candid about every aspects of my life in the first few years of my blog, but I've learned through time to not speak prematurely right away when things are happening. It's best to let it ride out, gather my thoughts, and write more emotionally sensible posts rather than ones filled with words that can hurt, harm, and cause problems.
But, I do love to let you all know the things that are going on in my personal life because that's what this blog has always been and it's one of my favorite aspects. To be honest in my struggles and hardships with you all. You've been there through so much in the last five years, and I always want to continually share these life moments with you.
That being said, although I did not talk about him much on here my boyfriend and I broke up last week. It was something that confused and angered me at the time, and unfortunately circumstances have gotten worse for me to find out he cheated, and much of the relationship was filled with lies and deceit. It hurts. I would be lying if I said it didn't. You all read through my heart breaking posts of my last break up on here three years ago and it changed my life forever when that happened. This, too, changes the course of my life and everything surrounding it. For me, although what he did seems unfathomable to me I still have happiness. I have depended on God and just found such peace in Him. My previous break up was very hard because I didn't have that rock; I didn't have that confidence in something greater, and I struggled for years on end with that. This time around, I do not feel anger or vengeance or deep depression. I feel hope. I feel love. I am confident for my future and the things it holds. The path Christ has for me. He never fails me; He never gives me things I cannot handle. I've been in a dry period of my faith every since going away to Europe and I just couldn't break it. Now I know why I was in it. The relationship was holding me back so much. I compromised my faith for a boy. I placed all the love I should have had for Christ, into something that unfortunately failed.
I am thankful for these experiences because they build strength and determination and help me to become a better version of myself. I know I will have hard days ahead. I know that this situation will affect all my relationships to come, my confidence, my trust, and just so much...but I am not broken. I'm anything but. I feel strong and like I have pieces of myself back that I lost a long time ago.
Secondly, on a much greater, happier scale I have very, very exciting news. After some technical issues, my plans for my internship this summer have changed. Instead of staying in Ohio for the summer... I am moving to the huge, wonderful, exciting New York City. Someone Like You has a new adventure! I am so pleased and honored to say I accepted an internship as a Ready to Wear Intern with Seventeen and Cosmopolitain Magazines. I'm speechless. I'm in awe. I honestly can't believe it. It's been a whirl wind the past months with all my internship processes, and to decided to accept this position in New York put me through a lot. I've never been to New York, and the thought of moving to this huge city with no one, working a very demanding internship all summer away from home...I panicked. I didn't know whether to accept it or not because it was such a scary, daunting opportunity in front of me. For the first time in my schooling, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I was confused and upset because I had to decide the path I wanted me career to go in. And at 21, I just wasn't ready. But in the end, I wanted to do this. I want this challenge and I want this once in a life time opportunity. I am ready to work hard and have the summer of my life doing what I love.
I am so lucky to have the support and love of all of you around me. This blog has been like a story book the last five years. Navigating high school, mental illnesses, a hard break up, going to college, studying abroad, another equally hard break up, and now to New York City....Sometimes my life feels like a strange novel with all of its twists and turns. The events surprise me that I write about just as much as they might surprise you. But I am in awe of this blog and the people who read it. My journey never ends; the story never stops. And I am thankful I started this blog as a 16 year old in high school because having it has changed my life in a way I never thought possible.
I love you all so much. Thank you for sticking with me in every season of my life. x
With much love, Lauren.
16 comments
You're such an amazing strong person. I so admire your faith in God, and am so excited to see what he will do in your life!
I'm thrilled for you about this new adventure, and hope that everything goes smoothly. What an amazing opportunity!
hugs and blessings to you!
-Lauren
I'm sorry to read that you've been going through a lot recently Lauren, but I must say I am very impressed at how you have worded this post and the level of maturity it shows. Not that you ever need my approval.
I am glad that your faith has been growing again and that throughout what is no doubt a difficult time you are leaning on Christ and feeling His presence and guiding light comforting you. Says the person who is also going through a dry patch in her faith at the moment.
A huge congrats on your internship I know I've already said it but what an amazing opertunity. I know it'll be scary but you've overcome so much as this blog is a testement too. If God has given you this internship as I'm sure he has He will not forsake you now. Lean on Him and He will guide you through whatever happens.
Our past helps to shape us but it doesn't ever define us.
I'm very sorry to hear about the end of your relationship, that can be really hard. But I am so amazed at your outlook and maturity, and though I'm sure you're sad, you have a great forward-looking frame of mind.
Congratulations to you on your internship in NYC! That will be so great for you. NYC is a lot of fun, and my experience with New Yorkers has been that they're extremely polite and helpful, despite what you may have heard. And I am speaking as a Philadelphian, a city that has a well-know inferiority complex to NYC! ;) Best of luck to you!!
I am so happy for you! There is always light at the end of a tunnel and you have found that light :) I am also attending school for fashion and the internship you received would be a dream! Congratulations and good luck to you!
I am so sorry to hear about your break up and how it happened. That is awful news and it is never fun. But NYC that is amazing and SO AWESOME. You will learn so much and get to experience something totally new and unbelievable!
Carlee
Little Sloth
Sending all the love your way Lauren. You're such a strong soul, I have so much admiration! You've just proven that with every cloud, however grey, there comes a silver lining! You'll have the best time in New York, I'm ever so jealous! x
www.totalmodisch.blogspot.co.uk
I am so sorry to hear about your breakup, but I am so happy to read about your internship in NYC! What an amazing opportunity. I love that you focus so much on the positives; you inspire me to do the same. Best of luck this summer! I'll be visiting NYC in June and maybe I'll run into you. ;)
xo Kimi
I am so sorry about your breakup, but very encouraged by your hope in Christ! You got this! You have such a good opportunity ahead of you!
Elizabeth
www.elizabethamyyy.com
I've never posted any comments on here but I am ALWAYS watching your blog because I love love love your outfits! �� Just thought I should finally say it. Also, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup but as you've so maturely and eloquently stated, its just a hurdle to overcome among the many wonderful things coming your way. So congrats on the internship and enjoy that. Don't worry about something that wasn't strong or true enough to be in your future.
- Evelyn
Wow! Congratulations on the internship. I'm going to begin with that because it's seriously impressive. You must have really stood out to them. I hope you enjoy NYC, and all the maddness therein.
I'm also sorry about the boyfriend, but I think it's clear you're so much better than that, and whilst it's tough and he's hurt you you've got the strength to move on.
Lauren, I just wanted to reach through my computer screen and give you an enormous hug! I really, really admire your strength and your perspective on life, and I only hope that one day I'll be more like you. God has amazing plans for your life and He has the perfect man out there for you - not someone who is perfect, of course we are all human - but someone who is your other half and who will cherish all of your wonderful character traits.
I am so excited to keep on "reading the novel" of your exciting life as you whisk us away to electric NYC with you! ♥♥♥
Stay inspiring!
<3
Oh, i'm really sorry about the boyfriend ! I wish you the best for the days, month and years to come in terms of love !
That internship is such huge and wonderful opportunity !! Life is just a roller coaster sometimes, stuff all happens at the same time... twists and turns... but we always get back on our feet ! I'm certain this summer will be amazing for you ! i've been to NYC already and as a tourist i LOVED it !
I'm sorry about the sadness you've been going through, but I wish you the best of luck in your upcoming adventures!
So sorry to hear about your breakup! I've been following your blog for about a year now but once I discovered it I went all the way back through your archives and so I feel like I've been with you since the beginning! I don't often comment but I just wanted to say how much I respect your being open about your faith on your blog, you're an inspiration for me. And as other people have said, you really have grown in maturity and it's amazing to watch you deal honestly with your struggles-it's a very powerful witness!
I love that I read about the last break up and remember the insane hurt that it put you through and then reading about this one and seeing how you are so dependent on God through it (I am extremely sorry to hear about what happened by the way). What amazing growth. He will never hurt you ever and you are so valuable. Congratulations on NYC. I live so close to the city but can't stand it (I would rather live on a farm, though I live in the suburbs of NJ). I hope you enjoy it though! The streets are always bustling and it is so big and noisy. If you need any church recommendations there for an area, I know loads of people who live in the city that attend churches within it. . . though I am sure you will google the area anyway.
May God continue to grow deeply in your heart always.
+Victoria+
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