a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Distance is Relative.

Striped Dress: c/o Chicnova.
Hat: c/o OASAP.
Flats: c/o Pink and Pepper.
Necklace: Thrifted.

Hi there!

You know I was just thinking this morning how deceiving social media can be when it comes to relationships. Apps like instagram make it so easy to make a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend seem perfect to all the outsiders. It shows the posed and pristine moments of the relationship with witty tag a long lines or romantic odes. An instagram profile doesn't show the disagreements, the hard times, the moments away filled with missing the other, personality differences, and each other at their worst moments...It's putting your best foot forward, or your best 'relationship face,' forward for everyone.

I mean, no one wants to post about the negative things of relationships, and no one really wants to see all that drama either...but I think it's important to realize that there is more behind that beautiful photo of them kayaking together, the cute selfie of them on an ice cream date, or all the mancrush mondays and woman crush Wednesdays every week...Being in a relationship myself, at times it makes you feel like yours is inferior. You think, "well this couple is so cute and spends so much time together and does all these things...why can't my boyfriend and I? Why doesn't he post nice things about me on his pictures? Why isn't our relationship like that?" And it's so easy to fall into this pit of comparing your relationship to another's, just through social media, when you're just not seeing nearly the whole picture. It goes for single people, too. I know when I was single I dreaded seeing all the mushy gushy posts and it just made me feel sad and inferior to these couples...because I didn't have something like that and felt like I never would.

I don't think stopping posts about a relationship and the little moments you have together on the internet is the answer. It's fun to document these moments, share them with others, and look back on and it would be silly if everyone withheld posting about their relationship just so others wouldn't get jealous or sad. But I think what does need to be done (including for myself) is having the mindset that these relationships of people we follow are NOT perfect. We only get to see the small glimpse that people allow us to. Every relationship is different, perfect, and justified in it's own way--whether or not he gives you a dozen roses and makes you breakfast in bed or not.  Treasure your relationship you have, not wishing it were someone else's.

With much love, Lauren.


Carlee, Little Sloth said...

I totally know what your saying. My favorite quote that relates to this is “Don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.”


Kezzie said...

Yes, I totally understand this! Of course you want to celebrate the good times not the bad, but yes, it can give false impressions to everyone else! E.g. I get SO annoyed with my husband falling asleep on the sofa in all his clothes and at really random times but thanks to honest friends, I know I am not alone!x

Unknown said...

It should be common sense now that what someone shows on the internet isn't the whole picture. I don't dislike seeing people's happy posts because I figure they have plenty of bad things lingering behind the photographs. It can be hard to forget that though. Feel free to share your happy moments!

Also this striped dress is just so cute on you. I have one a lot like yours that's black with white stripes and it's so versatile and comfy.

Jamie | PetitePanoply.com

Unknown said...

I love love love that necklace it reminds me of a dream catcher! Also I totally agree with what you say, I find myself sadly doing that even with my relationship. My boyfriend actually has no social media so I guess I don't have much to compare to but it does make me sort of like eh when I see other boyfriends being so sweet and out there with their love for their girlfriends. But then I think how happy I am and it doesn't matter that its not always out there for all to see, at least on his end. I still post pictures every once in a while.

Unknown said...

Absolutely in love with your look!

x Angela

Ruby Sterland said...

Firstly, this dress is lovely, Lauren! Secondly, I completely agree with you. Although I've never talked about relationships on social media, I'm definitely guilty of showing one dimension to my life. Isn't everyone?! I just hope people realise that things like Instagram only show one side to a multi-faceted life. x


Miranda said...

I absolutely agree with this post - I never like to post romantic stuff because 1) it's personal, and 2) I know I don't like it when other couples over-post. But of course, you can't blame someone for being happy - it's just when they clearly post things for attention and to get likes that it gets annoying!
Haha with that being said - lovely dress! The shape is pretty on you.

Little Gold Pocket Watch

Unknown said...

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. It hurts to look at old pics and reminisce, but everyone is different.

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