a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Just Write.

Rose Dress: c/o Fleet Collection (old)
Nude Flats: c/o Pink and Pepper (old)
Pendant Necklace: c/o Sparkle Box.
Earrings: Thrifted.
Lipstick in MAC's Craving.
Journal: Target.

I've never written as much as I did when I was in New York City. It seemed I was always having a new 'moment' I had to document and it felt like I couldn't ever write enough to truly document how I felt in those given moments. I started carrying around my journal with me in my purse throughout the summer because I so often found when I was out that something would strike me I needed document. I suppose I could have always jotted it down in my notes on my iphone, but there is something just comforting and magic about seeing my thoughts written out on a blank page as a nice, black ink pen fills up the empty space. It's an addicting sensation.

I documented a lot of things. People that struck me as interesting or unique. I didn't have headphones this summer and it was sort of a blessing because I got to hear a lot of interesting conversations people would have in the subway. That was probably one of my favorite places to people watch. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because  everyone is so busy trying to get somewhere and go about their own business, that they don't have time to notice and be freaked out by the strange girl on the subway obviously studying them. But it allowed me to see them as they were; without them trying to position themselves in a way that is more acceptable to others. I could see their anger, sadness, worry, happiness, and fear because in New York you are too caught up in your own moment to worry about any one else's. It really allowed me to see some interesting, heart warming, and sometimes heart breaking, things.

I wrote in incredibly busy places. Like on the Brooklyn bridge as hundreds of people passed me going from one side of the city to another. Or other times I would write in really quiet places. I'd find a nook in Central Park, a lot of times by the water, and just fall into a world where everything was silent around me but the scratch of that pen on the paper. It's funny because in both the quiet and in the loud I still found peace in writing. One environment was not preferred over the other. It was just the complete essence of New York and its atmosphere that inspired me to write.

I don't think I'm a good writer. My sentence structure is absolutely horrid with run ons for days and it's just not a developed, mature writing form. It's pretty embarrassing actually how bad it is from the standpoint of everything I write usually three equivalent verbs with descriptors afterwards like..."and I thought____, I looked ____, I felt___" ect, ect. Or I do "powerful and meaningful" statements that are really just a long series of sentence fragments. I've been writing the same way since high school and it's not a very advanced way of writing, but more of a juvenile stream of consciousness. I'm terrible at getting my point across quickly and my weakness lies in the fact that I drone on and on without any real clarity....

Despite my weak writing skills, I can't help but love it. And when I free write in a journal, I'm far less self conscious than when I write on here or publicly because I know that the way I write doesn't really matter. It's more about what I have to say.

I hope I always continue writing, despite my embarrassment over my skills. I've always loved it and have found journals from when I was as young as first grade, to seventh grade, and now I've kept one solidly for the last three and a half years. I've filled up so many and if there was ever a fire...they'd be the first thing I grabbed. They're precious to me and just such a part of my soul that I would never get back if I lost them. 

I went out and bought three new journals (I only needed one, but I couldn't help myself) because I still have so very much I want to write about that I experienced in New York City. Hoping I never stop writing, even if it's just for myself. You don't necessarily have to be good at something to have a passion for it. x

With much love, Lauren.


LaurenLovesLaughter said...

I think your writing is beautiful Lauren - even if you think it's juvenile! You have a way with words that I'll never have and it's part of the reason I love reading your blog so much! Sometimes I'll read something you write and think "that's exactly how I feel!" but haven't been able to describe it!
Beautiful photos too - I love all the beautiful natural scenery lately! xx

Lauren :)

Kristin said...

You look so lovely! And I totally get you, I've been addicted to journaling for my whole adult life. And I don't think we should have high expectations of our writing style in journals, it's supposed to be stream of consciousness without worrying about what anybody else thinks, and that's part of the beauty of it. My journals certainly aren't filled with nuggets of wisdom, but I still love reading back on my experiences and feelings!

I don't comment on here too often, but I've been following you for a couple years now, and just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to share your life with us! I always look forward to "catching up" with you and I was so excited for your experiences in NYC this summer!

Vicki said...

Haha, my journaling was pretty similar. I was very descriptive, with lots of run-ons. But I loved it, and I'd really like to get back into it some day.

Your outfit is so lovely! And you look stunning.

vicki grace

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