a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Stay With Me Until I Fall Asleep.









Floral Dress w. Peter Pan Collar: Forever21.
Teal Heels, Black Purse: Thrifted.
Blow Bow Headband: Claire's.
Socks: Gift from my Aunt.

Tonight all I could think about was getting away. Getting away from all these people. Getting away from this awful town. Getting away from everything I've ever known. All I want to do is leave this place and never turn my head to look at it again. I hate it. I hate it so much. This town is filled with these fake people who have no sense of who they are. They have no sense of what life is and what it is to be an individual. I would be happy if I never had to see any of their faces again, nor the faces of the edifices of this desolate, worthless town. It holds nothing to me now, and it took me so long to realize that. To realize that the city limits can be passed and that there is more that the world has to offer.

Tonight I took my car and just drove. I was willing to do anything to just get away, even if it was just for a second. I drove until I found a spot no one had ever been before. A spot that was unspoiled by the wretched beings of my town. I parked my car and ran through the fields as the sun cascaded a brilliant, warm glow amongst the tall grasses. I ran and ran until I broke free into a sunlit field of promise. A field of hope for my future. I stood there for a moment and looked up at the turquoise sky that was turning a beautiful crimson and for once I was satisfied. I had found a place of my own.
With much love, Lauren.


leah jean said...

aw dear, i know that feeling well. the feeling where you don't know where to go, but know anywhere must be better than where you are. i'm sending love and prayers your way and hope things look up soon. :)

Sara said...

i was almost about to buy that dress from forever21! its so adorable! and i know the feeling of wanting to just get away but its life, i hope you feel better :)


Nikki | The Ginger Diaries said...

You write very inspiring :) very beautiful! and i love your dress ^^ x

Anonymous said...

Did you write that? Its beautiful.
I know the feeling only too well. But you have to know it gets better. I saw that youtube clip 'it gets better' a couple of weeks ago (its directed at gay/ lesbian/ trans gender teens) but I feel the rule still applies. If I'd been told, 5/6 years ago that my life would be this good, I'd never have believed it.
I did one thing; stopped surrounding myself with people who are fake and people who used me. Your beautiful and there's a good chance, people are jealous of you.

Remember, it gets better.

Girl about Town XxX

Colleen said...

Hey girl

I attend Ohio State University and if you haven't visited yet, definitely check it out! It's AWESOME here. It's like the second biggest university in the nation, so there's always new people to meet and tons of things to do. Plus, it's in a really cool city. I seriously I would not have gone to another school in this state. And it's public so it's cheaper than many schools! Seriously, if you come here, I will show you around. The 330 Blogger Collective looks pretty cool! I'm originally from Youngstown, would I still qualify to be in it?

Chicca said...

I love to read your post!!!You are so sweet and talented!Gorgeous as always!

Amber Schmidt said...

What a travesty of a summer's day.. Sometimes I see people, and try as I might to believe in faith and love and magic, the grotesque truth is prevalent as the people I'm surrounded with, the people I try so hard to make excuses for.. well, they get the better of me.

You're a unique gal, and yes, what a terribly overused word unique is, but honestly.. your soul is like no other. You're a faerie, a kind soul, a fighter, and as hard as all of the struggles and challenges seem now, I can just tell that great things are being shaped for you.

These are just the chapters of angst in your book.. the sooner you can push through them (and with such grace and power to see the beauty, power to escape, albeit painstakingly brief), the sooner you can get to the scene of laughing and drinking champagne and picking wildflowers..

You are my favorite, and I'm always here for you, I promise!

'Shake dreams from your hair, my pretty child, my sweet one. Choose the day, the sign of your day, the day's divinity.'


Libby said...

I love your cute little dress! That's such a pretty print, and I'm a sucker for peter pan collars! Those teal shoes are awesome, too! :)

Maria Elyse said...

Your words sound like they came out of my own heart and mind. There are some days and nights where all I can think of is how much I want to get out of my town and the people in it...a place that is like nothingness unless you can settle for less than the mediocre, and can stand to be with people who are pretenders. Sometimes I cry and cry for want to escape from it...to go somewhere where my self can be so much more alive and where I can see what the world has for me. There's so much world and so many possibilities, but I'm stuck in my awful, tiny town. It feels like I'm stuck in a cage, and no one understands, and I can never fly. It's so hard, and I understand exactly, precisely how you feel.

You are such a wonderful young lady and I'm really excited for you to finish high school after this school year and head off to college...I know that amazing things and opportunities are waiting for you, and that God's got awesome plans for you. ♥ It's just so hard to push through until those plans come through.

Maria Elyse
First Impressions
Flying Ships Vintage

Kezzie said...

Oh Lauren, bless you so much. You are a wonderful wonderful person who has the ability to rise above and transcend the mundanity and difficulties of life. You are amazing and that can inspire jealousy and lack of understanding. But you are unique and wonderful, made in the image of God and he has great things planned for you, I am quite sure! I send lots of virtual hugs and hopes that the sun will arise and cast a new happy light on your life! Take care xx

Mila said...

Sometimes I feel the same way...living in rural states can be disheartening. These pictures are gorgeous--the scenery looks amazing too. I love the whole outfit--it's so refreshing to see you back in summery clothes and beautiful, warm looking scenery.

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog! I'm doing really well, I hope you are too. As well as making your borders/pictures larger...I'm not quite sure how I did mine, I just kind of messed around with the layout. I have a new version of blogger, I'm not sure if you have it? I think blogger asked me if I wanted to switch, and I clicked yes, and it got me to a much easier to use version. You can switch your layout by going to "design," then clicking on "template designer" in the left corner. My blog is set on a layout called "simple" with customizations. On this layout, you can switch around widths on the button that says "adjust widths." You just kind of have to mess around with it to get the widths right. It took me a while to figure the whole thing out. After you get the borders wider, if you have the new version of blogger, you can click on each photo in a draft of a post, and make it large, small, or whatever. You can also add captions. I hope this doesn't confuse you even more...it just takes some time and playing around with. good luck!:)


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