a personal style blog by Lauren Pfieffer

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Accept Yourself.












Fruit Bikini, Cat Eye Sunglasses, Brown Wedges, Earrings: All thrifted.

Growing up I had practically the lowest self esteem a young girl could have. I was more than slightly over weight. I had large glasses covering my face. My hair was a long, messy, rat's nest of waves that I had no clue what to do with. And fashion along with having an individual style was the furthest thing from my mind. I grew up wearing ill-fitting jeans and shirts that didn't even cover my stomach, and a grungy sweatshirt thrown over the top. Dirty, kicked up tennis shoes would always be the completion to my everyday looks.

I would look at myself in the mirror and wish with all of my heart that I was beautiful. I wished I was skinny and could wear the clothes that the models in the magazines and the older girls at the high school wore. However, these were just hopeless wishes because I had decided that I would never be beautiful, but an ugly beast for the rest of my life. (I'm not kidding I actually thought this).

Although I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try and approve my appearance, I was so self-conscious of what the people (mainly girls) would think of me. They would gossip. They would stare. They would say mean things about me. I've always been the type of person who can't handle the fact of someone disliking me. So,instead of ever taking the chance to become who I wanted and was destined to be, I hid in the shadows of self-loathing.

Going into my eighth grade year for some reason I had a revelation. I think sometimes it was God's intervention and help that gave me self confidence to become the person I am today. I stopped caring what people thought about me and started wearing what I wanted. Dresses were the first step. Heels that were a half an itch were next. And eventually I learned to straighten my hair. I stopped wanting to be someone else, and instead wanted to be myself. From that point it's where I am today: a hundred times more accepting of myself than I've ever been.

Often there are still times where I look in the mirror and am unhappy with my body. I always somewhat dread swimsuit season because to be honest I don't have a good bikini body, especially after not exercising a bit all winter. But then I snap out of the critic inside of my head and think sensibly. Of course there are going to be parts about my body, face, ect that I don't like. Everyone has little things that bother them. However, I can't let those little imperfections destroy me and make me miserable like they used to. I need to love my body and realize that I am beautifully me and no one else. There are going to be days when I feel self-conscious, but it's important to have enough confidence to be able to take that step forward and have days where you feel like a million bucks, too. I think we all owe that to ourselves.

With much love, Lauren.


April said...

You look gorgeous! Your own approval is all you need. ;)

Amber Schmidt said...

I find myself lacking words because honestly I just want to scream at the computer I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN.

If we ever meet, I'm going to bake us some brownies and we'll stay up all night telling of our ghosts, our fears, our dreams, our souls.

I love you dearly, sweet girl!!

and by the way, you are a BOMBSHELL.

b.outlandish said...

What you wrote yelled out heart and truth. Being yourself is the best person you can be Lauren.
Stay awesome. Speak your mind. Be yourself, always.

People like you, who are so real, are so hard to find. Anyone to call you a friend and by friend a TRUE friend should be grateful to have you in their lives. People are always trying to be something they're not while thinking their just being themselves, they're so blind. Being born with true eyes is the greatest gift.
Stay true to yourself, your heart, and soul.

One more thing, you look awesome in your two piece! Love it. What an awesome find, I'm jealous, tehehehe.

Kezzie said...

I think you look pretty fab in that bikini!

I am so glad you said this! God made us in His own image- so whatever we think, we are made in the mould of the Creator of all! He's proud of you, and he's proud of you learning to love what he has given you! Yes, we have to be comfortable with who we are and love what we have! Bless you lots!
There is no one like you and you are fab!
(and girls can be cruel and mean. It all stems from their own insecurities. Always. Whether they know it or not. They project onto others.)
Bless you lots!
Love that bikini!

Anonymous said...

Lauren, you are beautiful. Everybody has days when they feel worried about how they look, and it's so hard to overcome that, but you've already taken the most difficult step (your eighth grade epiphany!!)
It can only get easier.

I know how you feel - my insecurites began when I was twelve - I'm now sixteen and I still refuse to have bare legs outside the house. But every day is a little bit easier, and every time somebody says one tiny nice thing to me, I shed a little bit of my "awkward skin" like a snake.

The approval of others may sometimes seem important, but it just won't hold sway in two, five, even ten years.

On a not-really-related note, your sunglasses are gorgeous :)


Anonymous said...

What you say is so true...it took me a long time to realise that you are only truly happy when you are true to yourself. There is nothing wrong with being a tad self-conscious, but I always think that as long as I'm comfortable and confident in myself, then that will translate to how people perceive me.

On another note...the bikini looks lovely :D

Sick by Trend said...

you look so good! Love the outfit! SUMMER!!!!!! I'm following!

Look my blog and if you like it, follow me!!




Vanessa, Take only Memories said...

This is soo cute! Love it!

Maria Elyse said...

Aw, that post was truly inspiring. I think it really is exactly what every girl feels at some point in her life. I definitely have huge insecurities about my appearance, but I'm learning to not care anymore and not be someone who desperately wants the approval of others. The only person who needs to happy about me, my body, and my style is ME. It feels so good to let go of people-pleasing and to just be who God made me and be happy with that.

Thank you for posting this! It was really encouraging and a perfect read for me today. :) <3

Maria Elyse

Hope Adela Pasztor said...

i LOVE that swimsuit!!! =)


leah jean said...

you know why you are so beautiful? because you tell yourself that you are. (yes, i'm blog creeping. and i plan to read even more old posts of yours just so you know.)

people think about you what you tell them to, which is something i too am very slowly learning after a lifetime of horrible self esteem. it's so hard, but it's getting easier. and you are already an inspiration to me. :)

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